You can feel overwhelmed when your three year old behaves badly. Maybe she uses language you dislike, or pinches or bites another child. Perhaps she still throws temper tantrums like a two-year-old. Parents differ in their opinions about which behaviors are unacceptable. One child's unwanted screaming may appear to another adult as cheerful exuberance. Your actions should depend on the seriousness of your child's behavior, and the reason why she behaves that way.
Types
Some behaviors clearly break the rules of acceptability. Immediately stop any biting or kicking, gently but firmly. Be quick to end activities that threaten to harm your child, another child or an animal, or that cause damage to property, points out Medline Plus. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your child, calmly and consistently, so that he knows you dislike some actions, such as spitting or constant shouting.
Development Stage
Take your child's changing social, intellectual and emotional development levels into account as you decide how to deal with her behavior. At three years of age, she may enjoy playing with other children briefly, and can take turns, but will not yet share regularly and may take a toy from another child. She loves to kick, run and jump, and this can lead to rough play. She loses concentration easily, so may mishear instructions and seem to disobey. She likes new words without always understanding them, so may say things you find unacceptable.
Attention Grabbing
A three year old enjoys making people laugh and likes to have your attention, so could continue unacceptable behavior because it captures your interest. Getting mad with him encourages him to continue. Instead, distract him by introducing something interesting for him to do. Spend a little extra time with him. Every child blossoms from special time alone with his parent, away from the rest of the family. Try to fit in half an hour's individual attention every day.
Communication
PBS Parents website points out that all behavior is a form of communication. Your three year old may show you something through his actions, because he does not have sufficient language skills to explain in words. Try to figure out whether he feels angry, unhappy or scared. Talk with him often, keep calm, and make it clear that you love and approve of him. Remember that your own behavior is his model, so he may copy if you shout, lose your temper or use violence. Instead, show calm, kindness and understanding for him to imitate.
Encouragement
Make sure you encourage good behavior and avoid constantly focusing on unacceptable activities. The Early Childhood Learning and Knowledge Center advises you to say "yes" as often as you say "no." Talk to your three year old about everything, cuddle him often, listen to what he has to say and make sure his home is safe and orderly. Use simple rewards to help him develop the behaviors you want, and to stop those you dislike.
Solution
The timeout method can help stop unacceptable behavior fast and help your child learn the rules. Find a safe place, away from your child's toys, and sit or stand him there on his own for a short time: no more than three minutes, suggests Family Doctor.org. Ignore him until, after three minutes of good behavior, bring him back and encourage a different activity, without talking about the bad behavior.
