The prospect of starting the divorce process and ending your marriage can be daunting. People who are unfamiliar with the process can be intimidated by the idea of a divorce, and all the horror stories surrounding it. Divorce is not uncommon, and a lot of people can help you in the process. While divorce laws and procedures differ between states, you can make sure you start correctly by learning about what is to come preparing yourself for the end of your marriage.
Step 1
Review your financial needs. One of the prime areas a divorce addresses is the financial needs of both spouses. You need to collect all the information you have about your property, debts, assets and any other financial information. This will become an important part of the divorce. According to the the Oregon State Bar, the court must agree to any property distribution, alimony or child support, all of which are based on this information.
Step 2
Talk to a lawyer. Even if you don't end up hiring a lawyer, you should talk to one never the less. Handling a divorce yourself is not impossible, but talking to an experienced attorney so you can better understand what to expect and the processes involved will go far in alleviating the stress caused by the unknown.
Step 3
Refrain from focusing on fault. Even if you file a fault divorce, focusing on why tour spouse is bad, and why you want to hurt him, is the exact wrong way to proceed. The divorce process is there to end your marriage, and allow you to move on with your life, not to declare one spouse the winner and the other a horrible person. It is a clinical dissolution of a marriage, so keep your focus on the legal details.
Step 4
Talk to a counselor. Legal issues aside, the stress and emotional trauma involved in getting a divorce can be overwhelming. Seek a therapist or counselor to help you deal with your emotional response.
Step 5
Prepare the divorce papers. Each state has different requirements. Contact your local county courthouse, and ask what you need to file for divorce. Many courthouses have divorce packets or facilitators that can aid you in preparing your divorce.
Step 6
File the divorce papers. Filing for divorce is the first official step you need to take, according to the Oregon State Bar. You must file in the county where either you or your spouse reside. Once you file your divorce paperwork, the clerk assigns you a case number and hearing date.
Tips and Warnings
- Obtain a restraining order if you need one. If your spouse is violent or abusive, you need to protect yourself. You can get a restraining order or protective order that limits contact between you and your spouse even if you don't file for divorce.
