After someone you love dies, you might first feel emotionally frozen. After you recover from the initial shock, you might feel a frightening range of emotions from anger to guilt. According to Alan Wolfelt--author, educator, grief counselor and Director of the Center for Loss in Fort Collins, Colorado---experiencing and expressing these intense emotions is extremely important to recovering from the death of a loved one. Understand that your recovery will be at your own pace, and don't measure your own experience against that of anyone else.
Step 1
Focus on taking your recovery one day at a time. According to Wolfelt, grieving is an individualized process, and you can't rush it. Understand this, and be patient with yourself.
Step 2
Educate yourself about the grieving process. According to the Hospice Foundation of America, many people experience grief like a rollercoaster, full of highs and lows. Learning more about the process can help you accept the mood swings and intense physical reactions you experience as a normal aspect of grieving.
Step 3
Express your grief. Well-meaning friends and family might encourage you to focus on feeling better, but it is important for you to express how you're feeling. According to a booklet about grieving by the American Cancer Society, "Don't tell yourself how to feel or let others tell you how you should feel. Express your feelings. Let yourself cry. Both are needed for healing."
Step 4
Develop a support network. According to the American Cancer Society, it is important to find people who will listen and support you as you grieve. Talk to friends and family who can listen in a nonjudgmental manner. You also can join a grief support group or speak with a bereavement counselor.
Step 5
Develop a strategy for coping with holidays and other special days. It's common for holidays, birthdays and other special days to remind you of your deceased loved one. Make plans to spend time with someone from your support network who will understand and help you weather the grief.
Step 6
Focus on eating right and getting regular exercise. Although you might not feel like eating or exercising, both are essential for feeling better and staying physically healthy. These activities also can provide small pleasures to help you cope with your grief. Avoid alcohol and illegal drugs, which can lead to increased depression.
