According to the Mayo Clinic, the discovery of an extramarital affair can create very traumatic feelings of grief, rage and even despair. Marital infidelity often damages the mutual trust and respect that exists between spouses, creating questions, insecurities and resentments in the relationship. The Mayo Clinic notes that some marriages are able to recover and improve after infidelity. It typically requires participation from both spouses and a good deal of time before a couple can move forward in a positive direction.
Step 1
End the extramarital affair and cease all contact with the affair partner. A wife who wishes to reconcile with her husband after an affair will first have to terminate the extramarital relationship. The Mayo Clinic notes that an unfaithful spouse can not make authentic steps towards repairing the marriage unless the infidelity is ended.
Step 2
Seek individual counseling with a qualified therapist or join a community support group. The Mayo Clinic notes that it is essential for an unfaithful partner to develop an understanding of why she strayed outside her marriage and the underlying issues that may be occurring in her relationship. Developing personal insight and receiving feedback from others who have experience with infidelity can help you gain insight on your actions and feelings.
Step 3
Create space in the marital relationship so that both spouses have time to process the feelings regarding the affair. The Mayo Clinic notes that both partners should take time away to sort through their feelings prior to talking or making decisions about the marriage. Decision making may be clouded by resentments, insecurities or shock about the affair. Taking time apart allows both spouses to come to terms with the affair as individuals.
Step 4
Attend couples counseling with a professional therapist. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy notes that a high percentage of couples who experience marital problems report improved communication and emotional wellness after participating in marriage counseling. The unfaithful partner can seek referrals for local therapists and offer to attend with her spouse. According to the Mayo Clinic, taking the initiative to seek out this support may serve to rebuild trust.
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