Break the Cycle, a national organization working to stop dating violence, defines teen dating violence as a pattern of abusive acts used to wield power and control over a partner. According to A Safe Place, young people ages 13 to 18 are at high risk for dating violence as they begin to experiment with dating and relationships. Communities, schools and families can prevent teen dating violence and abuse through education, raising public awareness and encouraging teens to talk about relationships. Both teenage girls and boys can be victims or perpetrators in dating violence.
Type of Violence
Dating violence includes physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse. An abusive partner may engage in name-calling, insults, threats, sexual harassment, social sabotage, cyber-stalking and digital threats. If coercion and fear fails, the abuse may escalate to physical or sexual abuse. Abuse victims may be subjected to isolation, humiliation and monitoring. Sexual abusers may prevent a dating partner from taking birth control or threaten to disclose embarrassing information.
Cycle of Violence
Often, dating violence begins with insults and teasing and escalates to more serious behaviors. The pattern that is the cycle of abuse begins with the build-up of tension between dating partners. An explosion leads to violence or abuse, which is followed by apologies, efforts to make amends and attempts to blame something or someone else for the abusive behavior. Over time, the violence escalates and the victim of teen dating violence is increasingly in more danger.
Silence and Secrecy
While teen and adult dating abuse victim share similar experiences, teen victims face additional challenges due to their age and inexperience. Teens face overwhelming pressure to date, to be romantically involved and to be sexually active. Teens may keep abuse secret out of fear that parents will find out and restrict their freedom or lose trust in them. Teens often attend the same school as their abusers, and concern for their safety keeps them quiet about abuse. In most communities, teens have access to fewer dating violence resources than adults.
Prevention
Abusers prevent dating violence when they remember that the commission of violence is a choice, choose not to abuse their partners and choose to get professional help. Parents prevent dating violence by starting early to talk to their teens about healthy relationships and dating violence, keeping the lines of communication open with their children, and learning the warning signs so they can intervene quickly.
Getting Help
A Safe Place encourages teen dating victims to fight their fear that parents or law enforcement won't take them seriously. It's important for teens in this situation to tell someone they are being abused---a friend, teacher, parent or counselor. If they fear going public about the abuse, they can contact a confidential resource for domestic and dating violence, and ask about their legal rights, including petitioning for restraining orders and filing criminal charges.
According to A Safe Place, breaking up with an abuser is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship, so an abused teen needs to develop a safety plan with friends and family and seek help from those around her to give her the strength to end the abusive relationship.
