Many college students will never see the hail of gunfire in a war or the atrocities of a violated human nature. They won't understand the effect on the psyche, no matter how many war novels they read in English class. But many of them will have a shared experience on a minor level: commiserating over the stubbornness and the idiosyncrasies of someone among their ranks. The battles are smaller in scale, but they exist every day from the misuse of the bathroom to the "borrowing" of food.
Step 1
Reflect on the severity of the problem. Give your roommate a reasonable amount of time to clean up a minor mess. This will tell you whether your roommate is self-sufficient or if he is putting it upon you to take care of his disorderly conduct. If the problem is not soon resolved, you will know that a chat about it is warranted.
Step 2
Confront your roommate before speaking to others. Let her know of your reasonable expectations for the room as well as your ability to be a grown-up with regard to problem solving. Bringing in an authority figure prematurely is a good way to fray the trust between you two.
Step 3
Write a letter expressing your concern. Post it on his door or bed. Place the impetus to resolve the issue upon your roommate without having to hear his excuses or justifications. Letters also portray you as someone who tries to passively but effectively resolve conflicts.
Step 4
Create a routine for each of you to follow. Once your roommate has been following a behavior pattern for a while, she is less likely to forget about her responsibilities. Learn to compromise when creating this routine so she believes you are trying to fix the conflict and not trying to be her boss.
Step 5
Bare yourself to your roommate. He may not mindful be mindful to your problems because no emotion is attached. It is necessary that he understands why a certain problem, such as uncleanliness or gossip, irritates you on an emotional level. Let him know that it's not even about him; it's about your experience with these problems in the past.
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