Caring for an elderly parent can be challenging enough, but add an angry parent into the mix and most caregivers will feel strain, frustratios and perhaps even resentment. Learning how to deal with an angry or difficult parent may help caregivers be more patient and understanding of the feelings, needs and concerns of the elderly. Learn basic tips on how to deal with a variety of emotional outbursts from your parent to help keep yourself, and your parent, calm.
Step 1
Watch and listen to your elderly parent in an attempt to determine the reason for the anger or difficult behavior. Find out if a sudden noise startled her, or watch to see if her mood worsens as the day goes on. Perhaps she feels useless or is in pain. Talk to her. An elderly person's inability to perform usual daily tasks or to remember things, or her fear and uncertainty about illness and disease, may cause feelings of helplessness. These are often expressed with angry outbursts, impatience, complaints and sarcasm.
Step 2
Watch for indications that your parent may be frustrated with his immediate or long-term situation. Gradual withdrawal, disinterest in activities that used to bring pleasure and long periods of silence are often clues that your parent is having some emotional difficulties.
Step 3
Encourage your parent to talk about her fears and concerns. Some seniors won't want to discuss what's bothering them out of pride. Others may not want to burden you, the caretaker, with their concerns about financial worries or their future health and care. Do your best to determine what is behind the emotions or attitude change.
Step 4
Stay calm when dealing with demands, criticism and anger; often, such emotions are a projection of an elderly person's feelings of increasing isolation and inability to engage in what she used to do. Your mother may not actually be complaining about the dinner you cooked, but about her inability to cook her own dinner. Or your father may grow irritable over the clothes you choose for him to wear, not because you're inept, but because he can't dress himself or tie his own shoes.
Step 5
Ask for help from professional counselors or health-care providers if you feel the changes in emotions may be the result of increasing dementia, which is common with seniors afflicted with Alzheimer's. Encourage your parent to talk to a psychologist, counselor or therapist if you think that may help.
Step 6
Learn about professional care options in the event your parent refuses to accept your help and ends up not eating because she can't cook for herself, or insisting you leave her alone despite the fact she needs help with daily living activities and chores.
