Most children engage in bullying at some stage in their school years, according to a study conducted by researchers at York University and Queens University and published in Science Daily. The behavior is most common in the elementary school years, but often it is more than merely a passing phase. A tendency toward bullying can have lifelong implications, as those with histories as bullies in grade school have more arrests than their counterparts as adults for serious offenses, such as domestic violence, child abuse and driving while intoxicated.
Definition
Bullying is an aggressive behavior that is intentional and repeated. The perpetrator aims to elevate his own status by forcing the victim into a lower social position. It can be a physical act, such as punching or pushing, or it can be verbal, such as name-calling and insults. Social exclusion, though not aggressive, also is a form of bullying because it specifically aims to establish an imbalance of power. Girls sometimes bully in a related way through the spread of rumors about another child. While school and the playground are the prime locations for bullying, some children also engage in cyber-bullying through threatening or insulting email messages.
Risk Factors
Children who have friends who engage in bullying and violence are more likely to bully. The home environment also is a powerful influence. Children who live in a permissive environment and do not have clearly established boundaries are more likely to bully. Conversely, children who live in homes where there is harsh discipline also are more likely to engage in bullying. Children who are athletically gifted or who come from wealthy families are, on some level, aware of their superior status and some choose to use this perceived power to bully others.
Causes
Children who bully typically have difficulties with relationships in their lives--at home and with their peers. Sometimes they bully because they fear others will harm them, so they act pre-emptively to demonstrate they are strong. Some children, particularly boys, use bullying tactics as a form of revenge. They not only seek to pay back for something that hurt them, but they also want to escalate and cause the other person a higher degree of harm. Children also experience a power trip from bullying, which encourages them do it repeatedly. Children may engage in bullying as a relief from boredom. If the behavior is rewarded by friends who find it humorous, they will continue the behavior.
Implications
Bullying has serious long-term implications for your child. Bullies are more likely to get into physical altercations and be injured. They also are more likely to engage in other destructive behaviors, such as vandalism, theft and smoking and they are more likely to drop out of school. Bullies are more likely to carry a weapon than their peers. Boys who bully in middle school are four times more likely to have multiple criminal convictions by age 24, according to the Health Resources and Services Administration.
Prevention/Solution
If you use physical punishment with your child, stop immediately. Tell your child that hitting is not acceptable for anyone and there will be no more hitting by anyone in your household. A main issue with bullies is that they do not empathize with others. Work with your child to help her understand the impact of her actions on the victim. If your child has damaged another's property, require her to replace the damaged object out of her own money. Since bullying often stems from difficulties in other relationships, focus on the issues in these other relationships. For example, if your child is bullying because of a strained relationship with you or your spouse, counseling that improves this relationship may help end the bullying behavior.
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