Making a change in yourself can often make you wish for a new group of friends, according to Mark Hewitt in his book "Yes, I Can Change." Whether you have developed other interests or your friends have conflicting ideas or values, changing your social circle can be easier if you're ready to part with your current friends. If these are relationships that you've had for a number of years, make sure you've done some serious thinking about the reasons for your change.
Step 1
Go to new places. If you always hang out in the same places, the chances are high that you're going to keep running into the same people. If you always go to the same bar on Friday nights, try doing something different. Go to a bar, club or restaurant you've never been to. Invite someone new to come with you, such as a work colleague you'd like to get to know better.
Step 2
Develop new interests. If you're getting tired of the same weekly poker game, try to find a new activity that interests you. Learn a skill like dancing, or join a sports team. Try to find an activity you think is fun and interesting, because the likelihood is higher of meeting similar-minded people.
Step 3
Join an online group that offers the opportunity to meet in person. You can find reputable groups through websites such as Meetup.com. Search for a social group in your area based on your interests.
Step 4
Focus on positive body language in social situations. The first impression people get of you is usually the one they remember. If you come across as defensive or hostile by holding your arms crossed and refusing to make eye contact, people won't approach you. Keep an open posture by standing erect with your arms comfortably by your sides. Make eye contact to let others know you're interested in them.
Step 5
Hone your conversational skills. Attracting a new group of friends is easier when you have something to talk about. According to Don Gabor in his book "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends," try to steer away from negativity, which will push people away. Unhappy topics make people uncomfortable. If you're not sure what to say, try asking an open-ended question about work or common interests.
References
- "Yes, I Can Change"; Mark Hewitt; 2004
- "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends"; Don Gabor; 2002
Member Comments