For people who have worked all their adult lives, the transition into retirement sometimes isn't so much about finding hobbies, activities and travels to fill up their new-found hours of leisure, but instead about finding companions to share them. This is especially true of workaholics who haven't made time to cultivate relationships beyond co-workers and family members. Social networking now that you're retired not only introduces you to different points of view, but keeps you engaged in your community by sharing your experiences and talents with others.
Step 1
Organize a potluck friendship party. Go through your address book to create a guest list. In addition to bringing appetizers, beverages or a potluck dish, instruct each person to bring a friend. This mix-and-mingle environment not only expands your social circle, but helps invitees make connections, too.
Step 2
Sign up for a class, seminar or lecture on a subject you've always been interested in. This will put you in the company of kindred spirits with whom you have something in common. Introduce yourself to fellow attendees. Take the initiative of suggesting that a couple of you go out for coffee afterward to talk about the things you've just learned. If you're taking a foreign language class, pair up with a study partner so you can both practice.
Step 3
Join a club. This can be anything from a neighborhood book club, a business association that does mentoring or charity work, a collectors club, or even a travel group that plans trips to faraway places. If you can't find a club that matches your interests, start one to get the friendship ball rolling. If you're athletically inclined, join a fitness club, play on a team, take golf or tennis lessons, or get involved with fundraising for the neighborhood Little League.
Step 4
Look in the calendar section of your newspaper for announcements about gallery openings, art and music festivals, flea markets, farmers markets, historic home tours and sporting events. Strike up casual conversations while you're standing in lines and browsing merchandise. Ask for advice, give compliments, listen thoughtfully and smile from the heart.
Step 5
Become a volunteer. Check into the opportunities at local theater companies, libraries, dog boarding facilities, museums, neighborhood co-ops, historical societies and nonprofit organizations. When it's time for lunch, be adventurous and try out different restaurants and cafes. You never know who you might meet who also is dining solo.
Step 6
Participate in online message boards to chat about hobbies, discuss world events, ask advice about travel destinations, or share your thoughts on the latest movie. Through websites such as Meetup.com, discover meetings, social gatherings and workshops that are going on in your city, or host an event of your own to bring new acquaintances into your life.
Tips and Warnings
- Have a clever business card designed that introduces who you are in this new chapter of your life. Example: Penny Marple Writer, Artist, Amateur Sleuth marplemania@yahoo.com Unless you have a post office box, it's best to leave off your home address. Always carry your cards with you so you won't have to go trolling for a scrap of paper and a pen.
- Never rush a new friendship. If you come across as too pushy, too needy or too lonely, it's going to be a turn-off. Be cautious: Don't give out too much personal information at the start of a friendship, or invite someone to your home who you've only known for an hour. They may have a completely different agenda than you do.
References
- "Supercharged Retirement: Ditch the Rocking Chair"Trash Remote, and Do What You Love"; Mary Lloyd; 2009
- "The Joy of Retirement: Finding Happiness, Freedom, and the Life You've Always Wanted"; David Borchard, Patricia Donohoe; 2008
- "How To Start A Conversation and Make Friends"; Don Gabor; 2001
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