In the Internet age, "friends" seem to be everywhere. You may have 10,000 friends on social networking sites, yet lack any true confidants in real life. The development of true friendship takes time, unselfish effort and the courage to open yourself up to another person. It also take another person who is willing to do the same for you.
Step 1
Make an effort to meet new people, says author Karen Karbo in the article "Six Ways to Make a Friend" appearing in "Psychology Today" magazine. Focus on your interests, because common likes bind friends together, according to Alex Lickerman in the article "What Makes a True Friend," also in "Psychology Today." Take classes in an area that interests you to meet compatible friends.
Step 2
Listen to other people more than you speak. People like people who like them, and the best way to demonstrate that you like someone is to show an interest in what she has to say. Likewise, people are interested in people who are interested in them.
Step 3
Rescue declining friendships, advises Karbo. Find the courage to tell your friend that you value his friendship and don't want to let it go. Although in some cases the friendship may have declined past the point of no return, you'll never know unless you try.
Step 4
Abandon existing friendships that are not good for you. You will need to do this in order to make room in your life for new, nourishing friendships. Make you decision carefully--never abandon a friendship in anger, says psychologist Irene S. Levine in the article "6 Tips for Letting Go of a Toxic Friendship--Gently" appearing in "Psychology Today" magazine. You may want to downgrade a friend to the "once in a while" category, or you may simply make yourself unavailable and let the relationship die a slow death. In some cases, a formal announcement may be necessary.
Step 5
Share a bit of yourself with a potential friend, and encourage your new friend to do the same by taking a nonjudgmental attitude towards her. You cannot form a deep friendship with someone you don't know. Be patient, and wait for mutual trust to build over time so that you will both feel comfortable revealing yourselves.
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