Depression is a mental illness that some people believe is just a state of mind. However, depression is not something people choose to feel or something they can control. If your wife is depressed, you may feel that she is just sad or mopey, and that she should "snap out of it." However, people who are depressed suffer from serious and debilitating symptoms--lethargy, anxiety, irritability, sadness, hopelessness or chronic pain, among many others--that won't go away on their own. It's never easy to deal with depression in a loved one, but there are some things you can do to cope.
Step 1
Make an appointment for your wife with her physician. If your wife is not already receiving treatment, this is the most important thing you can do to help, according to MayoClinic.com. People who are depressed often get relief of some of their symptoms either through medication or talk therapy, or a combination of both. Her physician will be able to provide information and referral for these types of treatments.
Step 2
Let go of guilt by realizing that it's not your fault that your wife is depressed. You can't cure your wife's depression, according to the book, "Let Me Sow Light: Living with a Depressed Spouse." You may feel frustrated or powerless, but it's not up to you to fix it. Help her by being supportive and encouraging, and getting her into treatment.
Step 3
Learn about depression. Read online pamphlets about depression from the National Institute of Mental Health or the International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression (see Resources). You won't be so surprised by your wife's symptoms if you know what to expect.
Step 4
Consider joining a support group. Your wife's depression is also stressful and tiring for you. Having support from others enables you to talk or vent about your experiences while receiving advice and information. Find a support group in your area through the Mental Health America website (see Resources).
Step 5
Get her out of the house. People who are depressed often want to stay indoors and avoid socializing with others. Start slow by suggesting that you go for a walk in the park, for example. Or try going out to eat or seeing a movie. Don't push her to do something if she really doesn't want to, but invite her again at a later date. A change of scenery and fresh air can often provide a small mood boost.
