While a child may legally leave his parents' home at age 18, many children decide to stay for several years into adulthood. Often, this allows the adult child to attend college or save money for his own home. A parent with a 24-year-old son who is still at home may need to develop personal coping skills or an effective strategy to help him gain independence.
Communication
Good communication is key to living with any other adult. Ensure that all parties are working on the same goal, which should be the eventual independence of the adult child. Question your son about why he has chosen to remain at home. He may be frightened of living on his own, he may be concerned for your health if he moves out or he may simply enjoy your company. Often, the reasons are financial or due to his reluctance to perform chores such as cooking, cleaning and laundry on his own. Discuss your feelings about him living at home and what you anticipate the future to hold.
Privileges and Responsibilities
You may wonder what rules to set for your adult child. While you are not in charge of his life in the same way that you were prior to him turning 18, you have a right to demand your ethical beliefs be respected in your home. Your son shouldn't have overnight guests of the opposite sex if that is something you are morally opposed to, regardless of his age. Courtesy is also important. This may mean that he needs to be home by midnight if his late homecomings awaken you from sleep. Decide if he should have responsibilities around the house, whether for his own self and belongings or in terms of a contribution to the running of the home.
Contract
New York Life suggests you set a time limit for how long your adult child may remain in your home. You may want to draft a contract that is signed by the parents and child, so that expectations are clear for all parties. You may wish to charge rent or ask your son to pay a portion of the monthly bills or purchase his own groceries, especially if providing these things presents a financial burden for you. Alternatively, you may require your son to save a certain amount of money each month toward his own future home and living expenses.
Coping
Coping with another adult in your home can be challenging. If he is healthy and physically able to care for himself, don't feel as though you need to cook every meal for him or perform labor-intensive tasks he can perform on his own. Instead, use the time together to encourage him toward self-sufficiency and to just enjoy his company. The Children, Youth and Women's Health Service advises you to recognize that all parties will occasionally make mistakes and that maintaining open communication and a sense of humor will help you work through issues as they arise. Plan time away from home with your significant other or friends to gain a fresh perspective.
Warning
Sometimes, adult children remain at home because they have serious psychological problems that interfere with their ability to live on their own. They may have an anxiety disorder or other problem that requires treatment prior to them being asked to move out. Be mindful of whether your child may be suffering from depression or another problem when discussing his eventual independence, as new obligations can seem insurmountable to someone with a mental illness. It is also important that your desire for him to move out is viewed as loving trust in his ability to be a responsible adult, rather than parental rejection of him.
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