Aggressive behavior in children can result from many different psychosocial and psychological issues, but can also be a normal stage for many children as they navigate social norms. Parents can help their child develop socially acceptable ways to deal with frustration and anger with consistency in nonviolent discipline, educational modeling and positive reinforcement. If your child has been through an emotional trauma, loss or other stressor, or you think she may be experiencing excessive chronic anger or aggression issues, be sure to contact her pediatrician or a mental health care provider for support.
Positive Reinforcement
Step 1
Help your child make a Friendship Builder chart using paper and colorful markers. Label horizontal lines with items such as "Shared on the playground," "Used my words," "Walked away from conflict" and "Used Breathing to Stop Anger."
Step 2
Teach your child to use a sticker for her chart every time she accomplishes a pre-agreed anger management goal. Set an agreed amount of stickers to gain a desired outcome. Start with a lower amount and as positive behavior increases, require a few more stickers for access to a reward each time you make a new chart.
Step 3
Encourage your child to use his journal for anger management documentation when at school or away from home.
Step 4
Catch your child being good. Reward him with praise when you notice him taking steps to quell his aggression toward others.
Step 5
Protect your child from excessively frustrating encounters while she learns and perfects anger management skills.
Anger Management Activities
Step 1
Show your child how to breathe mindfully to access a sense of calm when getting angry.
Step 2
Tell your child to place his hands on his abdomen while breathing in and out slowly and deeply. Proper abdominal breathing with make his hands rise and fall.
Step 3
Direct her to silently count each breath in and out as "one, two, three, three, two, one," until she feels less upset.
Step 4
Show your child what kinds of actions or words are acceptable through modeling or role playing games that mimic typical scenarios of frustration with your child.
Step 5
Practice treating your child and other people with respect to be a role model for your child.
Tips and Warnings
- Giving your child an outlet for aggressive energy in athletics, martial arts or dramatic arts may be helpful as your child develops social skills and learns to harness negative energy for a transformation into positive outcomes.
- Some serious mental or physical health issues may contribute to excessive aggression and should be addressed by a competent health care provider. Support for mental health issues in childhood can be found through the National Alliance for Mental Illness.
Things You'll Need
- Markers
- Stickers
- Journal
References
- "The Angry Child"; Timothy Murphy; 2002
- "DSM IV"; American Psychological Association; 2005
- "An Introduction to Brain and Behavior"; Bryan Kolb and Ian Whishaw; 2005
