Fear is an inherent human emotion, and it isn't something your child will ever fully "outgrow." During the course of his childhood, many things may frighten your child, from a "monster under the bed" to a friend's dog to a roller coaster at an amusement park. As a child grows older, the fears may be centered on abstract concepts such as rejection, failure or social ostracism. If you believe your child's fear and anxiety is seriously interfering with his ability to grow and thrive, you should seek therapy for your child.
Step 1
Refrain from dismissing your child's fear. Particularly when your child is young, her fears won't necessarily be rational, reports Kids Health. However, it's not helpful for you to tell your child that she is being ridiculous or silly by feeling a genuine fear. Even if the monster under the bed doesn't exist, for example, the fear does. Showing empathy and compassion for your child's fear may help her feel less alone.
Step 2
Avoid overindulging the fear. Conversely, you're doing your child no favors by catering to the fear too much. For example, if your child is afraid of the dentist, don't avoid taking him to a necessary appointment. This will only validate and reinforce the fear for your child, says Kids Health. Simply be reassuring and supportive of your child as he approaches a feared situation.
Step 3
Encourage questions. According to the National Health Information Center, asking questions can be a useful way for kids to get information that dispels their fears. Discuss your child's fears with her and answer her questions to the best of your ability. It's also okay to admit that you don't have all the answers, reports the National Health Information Center.
Step 4
Instruct your child to "rate" the source of fear. According to Kids Health, the ability to quantify how frightening an experience or object is can help your child put things into perspective. If a child is facing a feared experience but realizes it only rates a 4, he might decide it's not such a big deal after all. For kids who are not yet adept at numbers, you can encourage them to rate how "full" of fear they are, such as "I'm full of fear up to my chin!" Kids Health suggests.
Tips and Warnings
- Speak honestly with your child. According to the National Mental Health Information Center, it's best to be upfront with a child about a feared situation. This is particularly important in situations where you may be tempted to put a "nice spin" on things, such as death.
- Pay attention to your child's drawings and play. These emotional outlets may give you valuable clues regarding your child's fears, reports the National Mental Health Information Center.
