Approximately 38 percent of public schools reported at least one violent incident to the police during the 2005-2006 school year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. If you are concerned about your child's safety at school, you need to take the initiate to talk to her about her concerns. You can not only gain insight into the situation, but may also be able to help your child feel more prepared to act appropriately in situations that may turn violent.
Step 1
Research the topic of school violence, and decide on the main points you'd like to discuss with your child. While you may want to discuss a specific situation your child is experiencing, be ready to talk about other aspects of school violence, as well.
Step 2
Schedule the conversation at a place or time with minimal interruptions. Many children, particularly boys, feel more comfortable talking while engaged in an activity, explains the national organization Children Now. Having the conversation while going for a walk, drawing pictures or engaging in another quiet, private pastime may be beneficial.
Step 3
Ask what your child thinks about school violence to begin the conversation. Listen carefully to how he responds, as this will give you a good indication about what she already knows, what she might be anxious about or what areas you need to focus on during the conversation.
Step 4
Discuss your child's schools policies and procedures for situations that involve violence. These documents not only give your child an understanding about how the school expects him to handle violent situations on campus, but also may spark other thoughts and ideas in your child that she would like to discuss with you.
Step 5
Instruct your child on how to handle bullying. Explain that it is essential for her to report bullying to a trusted adult whenever there is a threat of physical harm or violence. In addition, explain that adults in positions of authority can often find solutions to the bullying without letting the bully know who reported him, as this may relieve the fear or reluctance of your child to "tattle" on the bully.
Step 6
Share ways your child can deal with his own anger and frustration without turning toward violence. Teach him anger management techniques, such as counting to ten, deep breathing activities, visualization exercises and how to walk away from provocative situations. In addition, explain that stretching, physical exercise or activities that use his senses, such as listening to calming music or watching a funny television show, also can relieve pent-up anger, according to the website HelpGuide.org.
Step 7
Initiate several role-playing activities with your child. It is important to show, not just tell, your child how to handle violent behavior in others as well as how to handle her own anger. Act out various scenarios involving school violence, such as bullying or heated arguments.
Step 8
Ask if the child has any questions several times throughout the conversation, as well as when you end the discussion. Many kids do not ask questions unless prompted to do so, suggests the University of Tennessee Medical Center, and you want to ensure all of your child's questions are answered.
Step 9
Revisit the conversation at a later date. Children often need time to process information, so waiting a few days or weeks and returning to the conversation may yield the best results.
Tips and Warnings
- Talk to each child individually. Each child may have different concerns or questions about the issue, and talking to multiple children at the same time may not allow the child to open up as much as she would when having a one-on-one conversation. Keep the conversation appropriate for the child's age. A younger child does not need as many details as an older child, for example. In addition to the age of your child, also consider your child's emotional maturity and personal experiences when deciding how detailed to get.
- Children who are currently experiencing bullying or who seem to have intense fears or anxiety about school violence may need professional help. Those who seem to have difficulty controlling their anger or seem prone to violent outbursts also need help. Contact a school counselor or family therapist for assistance in handling the situation.
