Although most children have been teased by a peer or bigger sibling at some point, some teasing goes beyond occasional, playful jabs. When teasing is constant, unkind and hurtful to a child, caregivers should treat it as a bullying problem, according to the Nemours Foundation. If your child is suffering because he's being bullied, you can take some steps to reduce the problem and help him cope with it in the meantime.
Types
Not all bullying looks the same. A child is being bullied when she is intentionally tormented in verbal, psychological or physical ways, says Nemours. It may involve hitting, shoving, mocking, spreading rumors or extorting money, or it could involve a combination of many forms of harassment, says Nemours. Not all bullying occurs in person. Some children use chat rooms, social networking sites, calls and text messages to bully their peers.
Risks
Children who are bullied can be seriously injured and become emotionally scarred by years of torment. Bullied children often fear going to school, have trouble focusing on schoolwork and struggle to form or maintain healthy relationships with other people. In extreme situations, bullying has led to tragic events such as suicides and school shootings. Bullies who don't get help also are more likely to have future problems, such as alcohol and tobacco abuse, trouble forming healthy relationships, being an abusive spouse and engaging in criminal activities, according to Scholastic.com.
Warning Signs
Your child may have troubles with bullying if he has become passive or withdrawn, he complains of physical problems such as stomachaches with no noticeable cause, he has unexplained bruises, he cries frequently, he complains about not wanting to go to school. or he starts using self-deprecating language, such as statements like "I'm a loser." If your child is being bullied you may also notice changes in his social life---like friends no longer calling him or inviting him to activities---and a sudden drop in his grades or other learning issues, says Scholastic.com.
Talking to Your Child
If you believe that your child might have a bully or bullies, let her know that you and other adults are there to help her. If she starts to open up, give her a chance to vent and offer plenty of empathy, says Scholastic.com. Ask her what she thinks might help the problem and offer suggestions such as avoiding where the bully hangs out, pairing up with a friend so she doesn't have to encounter the bully alone, withholding anger---using strategies such as "count to 10 and take a deep breath"---to not egg on the bully, and telling a responsible adult when bullying problems happen, suggests Nemours.
How to Help
Your child may not open up to you about being bullied, but tell him it's important that he talk to someone about the problem, even if that person is his big sibling or another adult, such as school counselor, says Nemours. Start your own investigation by talking to your child's teachers about how your child interacts with others in school and ask them to inform you if they notice any teasing. Although you may want to directly approach a bully's parents, you may need to ask a school counselor to mediate your conversation with them. A counselor can also help you and your child find ways to cope with bullying and let you know if and when it's appropriate to contact legal authorities, says Scholastic.com.
