How to Make Better Friends

How to Make Better Friends
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Maybe you've recently developed the feeling that you and your current friends just aren't seeing eye-to-eye anymore. Perhaps your friends have become people you don't want to be around. Or, maybe you feel like you've just outgrown them. This happens to everyone from time to time. Regardless of your reasons for seeking better friends, you can meet new people and make better friendships.

Step 1

Think about what constitutes a good friend. Make a list of the qualities you find appealing in others. Maybe you enjoy certain activities or hobbies, and you want a friend to share those things with. Perhaps certain personality traits are important to you, such as extroversion, positivity or enthusiasm. Consider also what behaviors are a total turn-off, such as smoking or recklessness.

Step 2

Cultivate in yourself the qualities that you'd like a friend to have. You are more likely to attract someone with qualities you admire if you develop those qualities in yourself. According to Harold H. Dawley's "Friendship: How to Make and Keep Friends," you should think about things like whether you can admit mistakes, compromise or be assertive. Develop the qualities that you think are lacking.

Step 3

Go to places where other people gather. Put yourself out in the world by making an effort, such as going to places you enjoy, developing a hobby or joining a club. According to the National Mental Health Information Center, you should try not to limit yourself to your usual hangouts. Do something different, such as volunteering or becoming a member of a sports team.

Step 4

Make a connection with potential friends. Call them on the phone to have a chat, or invite them to do something with you. Friendships often happen spontaneously, but sometimes you have to be the one to make the first step. Similarly, don't beg people to hang out with you or keep calling if your calls don't get returned. If you try too hard, you might end up pushing others away because you seem desperate or needy.

Step 5

Learn to relax. Try to cultivate a positive, friendly attitude. Avoid whining, complaining or other negative behaviors. People enjoy being around others who are happy and relaxed.

References

Article reviewed by Helen Covington Last updated on: Aug 13, 2010

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