While the Golden Years can bring the fun of hobbies, the adventure of travel and the enjoyment of grandchildren, they also can bring times of sadness and loss. The death of a spouse, for example, can cause life-changing sorrow. And many older adults cope with losses from the difficulties of chronic illness. If you are concerned about your elderly parents, here are some ways you can help them deal with the inevitable losses in life.
Evaluation Process
Step 1
Take a close look at your elderly parents' lifestyle to see whether there are signs of possible problems. The Mayo Clinic suggests that you consider five basic questions: Have they lost weight? Are they taking care of themselves? Do they seem safe at home? Are they in good spirits? Do they have trouble getting around?
Step 2
Consider whether your parent is depressed. It's common for late-in-life depression to go untreated, says the National Alliance on Mental Illness---and some people mistakenly think being despondent is just a normal part of aging. Memory problems, confusion, loss of appetite, sleep difficulties and social withdrawal might be signs that you parent is depressed and needs help.
Step 3
Consult with key people in your parent's life. As close as you may be to your parent, you still might benefit from the insights of others. To better assess how your parent is dealing with loss, get input from close friends, next-door neighbors, a family doctor or a pastor.
Step 4
Talk things over. Have an honest discussion with your parents to share concerns about their health, state of mind or living situation. Knowing that you care might help them to face their problems and make certain changes, advises the Mayo Clinic.
Step 5
Get medical attention if needed. As with younger people who experience times of loss and sadness, sometimes older people can benefit from professional help. Medications, psychotherapy and counseling are some of the options that a doctor might suggest, according to the Geriatric Mental Health Foundation.
Step 6
Help find solutions. A parent grappling with feelings of loss may feel isolated and alone. Help him or her by gently suggesting positive steps toward recovery. Some suggestions might be to join a grief support group, talk with caring friends, stay active through walking or taking an exercise class, return to an old hobby, adopt a pet or volunteer with a church or community group.
Tips and Warnings
- Keeping an eye on elderly parents is harder when you don't live nearby. Tips from the National Institute on Aging include: Make sure your parent's friends and neighbors know how to reach you; do some research on senior resources in the area so you know what's available; make a list of all the medications your parent takes, which can be vital in an emergency; and when you visit, take a close look at your parent's home and take care of any possible hazards or safety concerns.
- Older people's medical needs can be complicated, so if an antidepressant is prescribed for your parent, make sure the doctor is aware of all health conditions and all possible interactions with other medications.
References
- Mayo Clinic: Aging Parents: 5 Warning Signs of Health Problems
- National Institute on Aging: Long-Distance Caregiving
- National Institute on Aging: Mourning the Death of a Spouse
- Geriatric Mental Health Foundation: Treatment Options for Late-Life Depression
- National Alliance on Mental Illness: Depression in Older Persons Fact Sheet
