Since women do not often ask men out for dates, it will be difficult for you to get a date until you have the courage to ask a woman out. On the surface, this doesn't seem like much of a problem--after all, the worst likely result is a rejection, and no one has ever died from rejection. Nevertheless, since fears are not necessarily rational, you will need to work with yourself in order to summon the courage to ask women out in a confident manner.
Step 1
Approach women with the intention of getting rejected at least once a day. Accumulating experience being rejected will make it easier for you to bear, according to psychotherapist Harriet Lerner. Position yourself in a public place and politely ask for dates from passing women, focusing on women who seem unavailable for one reason or another. You might find this task easier on your ego than you thought--since your purpose is to get rejected, a rejection means that you have met your goal for the day.
Step 2
Go to a singles bar or other venue where you are likely to meet women. Look for signs of attraction from women, such as eye contact or touching of the hair, and then approach, advises Askmen.com. Approach with a simple opener such as "Hi, my name is Mike," with the goal of eventually asking her out. Give yourself one "acceptance point" if she talks to you, and one "rejection point" if she shies away from you. Either way, you win.
Step 3
Engage in conversation with the women you meet. Focus on asking them questions about themselves and genuinely listening to their answers. Switching your focus to her instead of your own fears will not only take your mind off of your fear of rejection, it will attract her and thereby make her less likely to reject you.
Step 4
Give her your telephone number at the end of the conversation, in a manner that doesn't come across as calculated to elicit an equivalent response from her. If she responds by giving you her phone number, you will get a chance to ask her out later. If she doesn't, refuse to count it as a rejection since you didn't ask for her phone number. Try again with another woman.
Step 5
Arrange a get-together in a public place with several friends. Call a woman you like, tell her about the get-together, and invite her to come. Don't ask her, simply invite her, and don't wait for a "yes" from her--after all, you're simply letting her know where you'll be in case she decides to come. If she comes, you have a date and a positive experience that should help allay future fears of rejection. If she doesn't come, have a good time with your friends and forget about her.
Tips and Warnings
- A little bit of nervousness will not necessarily make you seem unattractive to a woman, as long as you summon the courage to approach. In fact, nervous courage might endear you to her if it convinces her that you find her irresistible.
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