Adoption gives kids and parents a second chance at being a family. In a report by the Children's Bureau of the Department of Health and Human Services, 123,000 children were waiting to be adopted in 2008. Most adoptions are geared toward married couples who demonstrate a stable and established relationship and home environment. Same-sex couples who are married or share a home together, as well as single gay or lesbian individuals often wish to pursue a family of their own through adoption. While adoption is often a good choice, there can be issues that arise.
Legality
The Human Rights Campaign website explains that parenting laws pertaining to gay couples vary greatly from state to state, and are governed exclusively on the state level. Not all states permit same-sex adoption and others have strict provisions. The Human Rights Campaign reports that most gay adoptions can be classified into two types: second parent adoption and joint adoption. Second parent generally involves a gay spouse legally adopting his partner's child. Joint adoption involves adopting a child who has been placed up for adoption by her parents. Second parent adoption is legal in nine US states such as New York, Colorado and California. Joint adoption is permitted in thirteen states, including Oregon, Washington and Indiana.
Social Stigma
There is sometimes a social stigma attached to gay couples and individuals. When they decide to adopt, they may face criticism from society, family and friends. Someone may judge the family unit because it does not hold to the standard role model of a traditional family upbringing. The Evan B. Donaldson Institute reports that, through social science research, adopted children raised by gay parents display similar accomplishments as adopted kids raised in heterosexual households.
Process
The adoption process with a gay couple is similar to that of a traditional heterosexual couple. An application is filed through the adoption agency and then an interview takes place. A social worker will ask questions pertaining to the parents' thoughts and beliefs concerning parenting. The type of adoption will then be selected: either a stepparent adoption or from an unrelated birth mother. A home study is conducted to make sure the safety and atmosphere of the home is appropriate for a child, notes the Adoption Guide. At the conclusion, a social worker will carefully determine if the gay couple or individual will make suitable parents.
Benefits
As a gay person, choosing adoption is a selfless decision. Many foster children have no expectation of returning to a biological parent and so wait for a loving home that is full of support and warmth. Gay and lesbian couples and individuals, like anyone else, bring their own personalities, family histories, knowledge and ethics to the table to pass on to an adoptive child. Adopting a child gives that child a new lease on life by being placed in a household in which they are wanted.
Effects
The Findlaw website explains that although there has been an increase in gay parenting in recent years, the biggest issue is making sure the child is adaptable to their new lifestyle. One issue, which Findlaw advises has not yet been rigorously researched, is whether a child raised by either two dads or two moms receives the same parenting benefits thought to be normally included in an opposite-sex household. Because the family is nontraditional, the child could be teased or ridiculed at school. All of these factors should be considered before adoption is decided.
References
- Children's Bureau of the US Department of Health and Human Services: AFCARS Report
- Human Rights Campaign: Parenting Laws
- Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute: Expanding Resources for Children: Is Adoption By Gays and Lesbians Part of the Answer for Boys and Girls Who Need Homes?
- The Adoption Guide: The Adoption Process
- Findlaw: Adoption and Same-Sex Couples--Basics
