As parents, we want it all. We want a child who is self-confident and a selfless giver. It's easy to praise finger paintings, and brag about a three-point shot. Teaching a child characteristics like faith, hope and charity, however, requires that a caregiver not only look at the child, but introspectively at themselves.
Significance
The Search Institute, a nonsectarian organization dedicated to fostering the growth of caring youth, has created a list of 40 attributes a young person should develop. They include service to others, caring and social justice. But in her book, "Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-absorbed World," Jill Rigby explains that, "young people today are increasingly displaying a lack of empathy, aggressive behavior and inability to form relationships, earning themselves the title 'Me Generation.'"
Generation Me
In "Generation Me," Jean Twenge writes, "Born after self-focus entered the mainstream, this generation has never known a world that put duty before self." In other words, today's youth sees the world through a mirror. They put themselves first. The challenge then, is to teach your children to look outward and develop values like faith, hope and charity.
Faith
Monkey see; monkey do. In, "Faith Begins at Home," author Mark Holmen recalls his colleague, Dr. David Anderson bluntly challenging a live audience of parents saying, "The issue is not their faith, but your faith." A 2008 study by Search Institute found that 75 percent of youth said that the influence of parents made their spiritual development easier. Like it or not, children look to parents for a model of faith.
Hope
The University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center describes three areas that foster hope: goal-oriented beliefs, pathways to achievement and motivating thoughts. Goals need to be attainable but are not guaranteed. If a child knows there is a 100 percent chance of achieving the goal, she will not build hope. Second, encourage several ways to achieve when a problem arises. Last, motivate the child by encouraging her to believe that she can start and remain on a road to success.
Charity
The League is an online organization geared toward teaching students to give. Its website provides resources for parents and children, schools and faith groups, including games for youngsters and a plethora of reading material for adults. At home, parents can instill charitable routines, using tools such as the Moon Jar money bank, available at its website. Its simple design includes three separate containers where youngsters can choose to save, spend or share.
References
- "Faith Begins at home"; Mark Holmen; 2005
- "Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World"; Jill Rigby; 2008
- "Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled--and More Miserable than Ever Before"; Jean Twenge; 2006
