Most people enter relationships expecting love, companionship and acceptance from their partners. However, an abusive relationship can leave you feeling scared, ashamed and embarrassed. What starts subtly as a belittling comment about the way you manage time can suddenly become a violent physical attack the next time you arrive home a few minutes late. Physical and emotional abuse can annihilate your self-esteem and self-confidence. Fortunately, many treatment programs and supportive groups exist that can help you overcome the tragedy of abuse.
Step 1
Admit the abuse, and refuse to allow it any longer. You may feel confused or uncertain about whether you actually deserve the abuse or can solve things by sticking it out and trying harder. Talk with your physician, therapist or a trusted friend about your relationship or call an abuse hotline for support and recommendations. Abusive partners might slap, shake, punch or push you. They also abuse by humiliating you in front of others, controlling what you wear, isolating you from friends and family or threatening to harm you or themselves if you leave. Kids Health notes the first step in overcoming abuse is often realizing you deserve respect, and that you have the right to physical and emotional safety in your relationships.
Step 2
Make plans to leave. Abusers can become violent when their partner chooses to leave or end the relationship. You may need to take precautions to ensure your safety. Call a domestic hotline for advice when the abuser is not present. Call from a friend's house or cell phone, if you fear he may have a way of tracing your activity. If you live with your abuser, pack a bag that includes extra clothes, keys, personal papers, money or medications you take routinely. Store the bag carefully to keep him from finding it. Have an emergency plan for how to get out and where you can go, no matter what time of day, if you need to leave quickly.
Step 3
Enlist the support of counselors, crisis workers, friends and family. Participate in abuse recovery groups. Read literature or listen to tapes that help rebuild your self-esteem and self-confidence. An abusive relationship can leave you with frightening memories or a sense of constant danger long after the abuse has ended. You may feel numb and disconnected or find it difficult to trust other people. Getting over the emotional trauma associated with abuse takes time. However, treatment and support from family, friends and supportive professionals can help speed your recovery, according to the Help Guide.
Step 4
Focus on the future. Set long-term goals regarding your job, education or career path. Return to hobbies you once enjoyed, or try some new activities that interest you. Get physically healthy through a balanced diet and exercise regimen. Give yourself time to heal before beginning a new relationship. Continue in counseling until you feel confident about choosing a partner who will give you the loving relationship you deserve.
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