No one likes to be lied to, but infidelity and dishonesty do sometimes occur in relationships. Certain signs, such as changes in appearance or behavior, may signal that a girlfriend has been cheating. While these signs do not offer definitive proof of cheating, they may at least alert you to the fact that something's not right in the relationship. To know for sure, you'll have to talk to your girlfriend, and work together to overcome your problems.
Step 1
Look for signs of "emotional absence," suggests relationship expert Gilda Carle, author of "How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats." She says, "Cheaters conceal their emotional whereabouts so they can be evasive about their physical whereabouts." A cheating girlfriend may say what you want to hear without actually changing her actions. For example, she may promise that she'll pay more attention to you and spend more time with you, but she never delivers on the promise.
Step 2
Notice changes in your girlfriend's daily schedule, such as late work meetings or extra hours on the job, advises divorce consultant Reena Sommer, author of "The Anatomy of an Affair." Ask her about these changes. A cheating girlfriend with something to hide may also become evasive or defensive when you want to know where she's been and what she's been doing, says Sommer.
Step 3
Note any changes in her physical appearance, say Anthony DeLorenzo, Dawn Ricci, Ken Baron and Frank Gunzburg, authors of "Warning Signs: How To Know If Your Partner Is Cheating--And What To Do About It." Women having affairs often begin to wear sexier and more revealing clothing, and make extra effort to appear more attractive. They may even hide sexy lingerie or other pieces of clothing from you.
Step 4
Look for instances of increased privacy, author Sommer advises. She may leave the room to make or receive mysterious phone calls in private. She may also try to hide her computer activity, and immediately change or close the program window when you walk in the room.
Step 5
Notice any sexual changes in the relationship, suggests authors DeLorenzo, Ricci, Baron and Gunzburg. Intimacy changes in a number of ways, depending on the individual couple. For some, sexual activity may dramatically decrease, while for others, sex frequency may increase. A woman who's having an affair with another man may also suddenly introduce new sexual techniques that she's learned from her new secret partner.
Step 6
Talk to her. Notice changes in her mood and behavior and how she speaks to you. A cheating partner may often appear critical or argumentative for no apparent reason, says author Sommer. She may pick fights or become moody and depressed.
Tips and Warnings
- Take notes, suggests the authors of the book "Warning Signs." Keep a list of times when she's suspiciously missing, and note her responses when asked about her whereabouts. Talk to friends or family to gain perspective if you think your girlfriend is cheating. If you suspect something, talk to her, as well. Be honest about what you're feeling, and ask her to tell you the truth.
- Make yourself aware of your girlfriend's relationship history, and whether she has cheated on other boyfriends. This could spell trouble, especially if she rationalizes the betrayal or makes excuses.
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