It is hard to make friends first without talking to them. For people who struggle to hold conversations well, making friends can be an extremely difficult task. In fact, the ability to make friends and hold conversations well can often go hand-in-hand, and if one becomes more difficult, it can impair an individual's confidence that they can successfully achieve the other. When this occurs, it may require practice and preparation to be able to have a fluid, enjoyable conversation with another person. These steps may be difficult at first, but as you improve your skills and find success with them, they will become second nature.
Step 1
Present yourself as friendly and outgoing. Make eye contact with individuals and smile--smiling is one of the easiest ways to warm up a stranger to you before you say anything. If you approach someone coldly and/or awkwardly, he may be too put off by your presentation to listen closely to your words.
Step 2
Start with a question. Making statements to people doesn't require an exchange between you and another person, and it makes you more likely to be blown off. A question requires a response, and you can use that response to gauge how interested someone is in talking with you.
Step 3
Use an even mix of listening and contributing to the conversation. You don't want to walk up to someone and interview them, but you also don't want to talk about yourself the entire time--neither is appealing to many people. Instead, listen closely when someone else is talking, but don't be afraid to connect their comments with a story of your own. Friendship is forged through an exchange of stories, comments and sincere interest, and all need to be present in an effective conversation.
Step 4
Read the individual's body language. If you are telling a story that seems to be putting them to sleep, wrap it up quickly. Similarly, don't corner anyone who is clearly anxious to get to somewhere else, whether it is the bathroom or simply someplace far away from you. Even if you don't impress everyone you talk to, you can alarm people if you become too desperate to connect, and you are more likely to embarrass yourself.
Step 5
End the conversation on a cordial note. If you enjoyed talking to someone or are appreciative of the time they gave you, let them know. It will leave a good taste in their mouth, meaning they will walk away impressed by you--and hopefully, eager to talk to you again.
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