When your spouse is accused of a crime and then sentenced to incarceration, your life will be changed because of your spouse's absence. With your spouse locked up, you will have to assume the roles that he held before his incarceration. If he was the breadwinner and decision maker, you will suddenly have to take up those duties. On top of that, you will have to learn how to navigate the correctional system where your spouse is incarcerated. You will have to be emotionally and mentally strong to cope with your spouse's incarceration.
Step 1
Find a support system. While your spouse is incarcerated, you will need a strong support system to help you deal with the pressures of life. This need is increased if you have children. Your family, your spouse's family and your close friends should be the first people you turn to for support. Some people may abandon you once they find out your spouse has been incarcerated.
Step 2
Contact the jail or prison to find out how you can accept his phone calls. Prisons and jails usually allow an inmate to call loved ones through a third-party service. In most cases, you will have to open an account with the service and keep money in the account to accept calls.
Step 3
Write letters to your spouse. A letter is a good way to express your feelings because you can write the letter, set it aside and then read over it later to ensure it says what you really want to say. Be sure only to include items in the letter that are allowed at the facility your spouse is housed in. For example, some facilities only allow an inmate to receive paper in a standard-size envelope, while other facilities may allow photos, stamps and other paper supplies.
Step 4
Plan to visit your spouse. Most jails have specific times and days when prisoners are allowed visitors. In most cases, you will have to be on your spouse's visitation list to see her. You will also be expected to abide by visitation rules that may include stipulations on appropriate attire and conduct for the visit, states the Jail Guide website.
Step 5
Continue working and living your life while your spouse is incarcerated. With your spouse incarcerated, you will be responsible for paying the bills and making all the decisions about your house and family. You will also have to cover new expenses, such as collect calls from your spouse, putting money on his books in prison and traveling to and from the visits, notes the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Step 6
Encourage your children to act like children. While your spouse is incarcerated, you will essentially be a single parent. Your children will still need to attend school, play sports and do other activities that they enjoy. Expecting them to grow up and mature faster because of your spouse's incarceration isn't fair to the children.
References
- Jail Guide: Visitor Policies For Most Prisons and Jails
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: The Effects of Incarceration on Intimate Partner Relationships
- Active Parenting: Parenting with a Husband in Prison
- Council on Crime and Justice: The Collateral Effects of Incarceration on Fathers, Families, and Communities
