Grief is a natural and personal reaction to a major loss. It's a process of adjustment filled with emotions and stages that vary from one person to the next. Most people want to offer support to the bereaved, but it's often difficult to know exactly what to say or do in these circumstances. Helplessness, uncertainty and even fear are quite common when trying to comfort a loved one during a loss. You don't want to say the wrong thing, make matters worse or intrude on the grieving process. Although you can't do anything to actually take away the sorrow, you can offer help and comfort.
Step 1
Draw on your own experiences with loss and grief. Understanding your own reactions and emotions surrounding loss can often make you more comfortable in helping others, explains the American Hospice Foundation.
Step 2
Offer your time. Someone experiencing a loss won't necessarily ask for help and support, even if they need it. People don't want to be a burden to others, so offer your time if you have time available.
Step 3
Listen to your loved one. Talking about the loss helps with the grieving process as well as the reality of the situation. Let him speak of the loss, share memories or sit in silence, but always listen more than you speak.
Step 4
Lend a hand with the arrangements. A lot of preparation and planning takes place around a loss, so make yourself available to assist in the arrangements. Being there to answer the phone, pick up relatives, contact the funeral home, call the church or write thank-you notes are other ways of offering support and comfort.
Step 5
Help with daily tasks. It's sometimes difficult to deal with a loss and keep up with day-to-day tasks, so offer a helping hand whenever possible. Clean the house, wash clothes, pick up groceries, watch the kids, walk the dog and prepare meals to take some the weight off the bereaved.
Step 6
Keep in touch. Loss is often accompanied by a series of activities that keep the bereaved busy, but, once the funeral is over, an emptiness remains. Make sure to keep in touch with your loved one to see how she's coping with the loss. You may find she's experiencing some depression and needs professional help with the grieving process.
Tips and Warnings
- The American Hospice Foundation recommends avoiding statements that suggest you know how someone feels, such as the loss is part of a greater plan or time makes it easier. While these declarations may sound helpful, they do nothing to offer support at the time.
