Whether you have one child or more, or whether you are a new mother or a seasoned veteran, most mothers have the common goal of wanting to be a good mommy to their children. According to Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall, authors of "Real Moms: Exploding the Myths of Motherhood," being a good mommy happens in response to the overwhelming love you feel for your children and how passionately you strive to ensure that they are healthy and happy. Becoming a good mom does not require a great deal of money, but rather a focus on the individual needs of your children and how much time you spend with each of them.
Step 1
Spend time with your kids. Carve time out of your day to spend quality time with your children because there is nothing they want more than your attention, says Kids Health. Eat breakfast with your kids every morning before school or take an evening walk together after dinner. Set aside one night a week for your children to choose an activity to do together, such as a board game or playing soccer in the backyard.
Step 2
Set limits and use discipline consistently. Decide how you want your children to behave and make it clear to them, suggests Kids Health. Be consistent with consequences so your child learns self-control. Set limits so your child grows up to be a responsible person. Teach your children not to hit, punch or pull hair and make sure they do their homework before they watch TV. Tell your children what you expect and let them know what the consequences are if they do not meet your expectations.
Step 3
Praise your children and encourage them to become independent. Tell your children how proud you are of them when they accomplish their goals to help them build a healthy self-esteem, writes Kids Health. Allow your children to do things on their own so they get a sense of satisfaction from being independent. Use compassionate and loving words so your children learn to feel good about themselves as they try new things.
Step 4
Show your children that you love them unconditionally. Nurture and encourage your children to meet your expectations and accomplish their goals, says Kids Health. Use loving words to guide your children as they grow so they feel your love. Tell your children that you may be disappointed in their actions but that you will never stop loving them.
Step 5
Make time for yourself. Pursue your hobbies or take a class on your own because a happy mommy is a good mommy, write Morgan and Kuykendall. Find an activity that makes you happy and take time to engage in that activity on a regular basis. Do something you are passionate about so you have an identity separate from being a mom, and so you can return home refreshed and ready to be a good mommy.
Tips and Warnings
- Spend one-on-one time with each of your children on a regular basis. You will learn more about each child and will be able to learn more about what interests them. Eat dinner together as many nights as possible to catch up on the day and communicate with one another.
- Do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself. If you never take time for yourself you may begin to resent your children, which is not healthy for your relationship with them. Never criticize or belittle your children because it damages their self-esteem as well as your relationship. If you do not take time with your kids, they will seek attention elsewhere, which may lead to an increase in behavior issues.
References
- "Real Moms: Exploding the Myths of Motherhood"; Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall; 2002
- Kids Health: Nine Steps to More Effective Parenting
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