People of all ages feel angry and aggressive from time to time, but adults generally have an easier time understanding and controlling their feelings before they erupt, according to Parents Magazine. Children, on the other hand, may try to relieve their tension through aggressive behaviors such as hitting, kicking and biting. If your child has trouble controlling his temper, you can take some steps to stop aggressive behaviors when they happen and also help prevent them from occurring as often in the future.
Step 1
Keep a log of your child's triggers. Discuss your findings with her teacher or any other caregiver to determine whether similar events trigger similar behaviors. Once you know what brings on her more aggressive behavior you will be able to manipulate some of her surroundings and avoid "problem" activities, says Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics Online. For example, if she gets aggressive about sharing, you can put away her favorite toys when her play group comes over.
Step 2
Talk to your spouse and other caregivers before your child acts out and agree upon when you will punish your child's actions. For example, you may agree to immediately reprimand your child for hitting, kicking, biting or spitting so that he understands why he's being punished, says Parents Magazine.
Step 3
Pull your child out of the aggravating environment. Isolate a small child for two to five minutes---on a time-out step, for example---to allow her to calm down and to have some time to get control over your own emotions, suggests Colorado State University Extension. Send an older child to her room with an explanation such as, "You're going to your room for a 'time out' until you can calm down and use your words rather than punching." Whatever you decide to do, enforce it the same way every time.
Step 4
Restrain your child if his behavior gets out of hand. Stay calm and avoid using physical restraint as a punishment, but rather, use it as a way of preventing him from injuring himself or others, says Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics Online.
Step 5
Discuss the problem with your child after you have both calmed down. Use language that is appropriate to her level of development. For instance, you can say to a four-year-old, "I understand that you're angry. Is it because you wanted the toy and I didn't buy it?" Then respond to her explanation with, "It is okay to be angry but you shouldn't kick," recommends the Colorado State University Extension.
Step 6
Praise your child when he behaves well. For example, tell him, "I'm so proud of you for sharing your toys so nicely!" If he knows what behaviors evoke positive responses, he will be more likely to act in those ways in the future, says the Colorado State University Extension.
Step 7
Call her doctor if you are concerned about her behavior. Your child needs further evaluation and perhaps treatment if her actions result in injury to others, if you can't control her behavior of if she is school-aged and has regular tantrums, according to the University of Michigan Health System.
Tips and Warnings
- Model calm behavior on a regular basis and use positive conflict management skills when you're upset, says Colorado State University Extension. By saying, "I'm feeling angry about your behavior and I feel like hitting, so I will take a break until I feel calm again," you will set a good example for your child.
- Never punish aggressive behavior with aggression. Hitting or biting your child to show him how it feels will tell him that he can injure someone as long as that person is smaller than him, says Parents Magazine.
