When a parent or caregiver learns a child has been sexually molested, a flood of thoughts and emotions come rushing in. While your initial instinct may be to find and seek revenge on the molester, you must focus on helping the child first. Care for the child's physical well-being must be immediate. Care for his emotional well-being may be ongoing for months or even years. The most important thing you can do is believe the child, and let him know you're on his side and want to protect him.
Step 1
Take the child to a pediatrician or emergency room if the abuse has just occurred. The immediate collection of a rape kit may be crucial to future prosecution of the abuser.
Step 2
Sit with the child in a private place, and ask her to tell you exactly what happened. Do your best to remain calm and listen. Stress to her that you believe her and that the molestation is the abuser's fault, not hers. Allow her to tell what she is able to tell without pushing her for information she may not be ready to give--remember that telling you involves significant shame and embarrassment. Your job is to not make the telling any more difficult than it already is by over- or under-reacting to the situation.
Step 3
Inform local law enforcement, who will help you notify your local Child Protective Services. After helping your child through the immediate trauma, the next step is to do everything possible to keep the abuser from abusing other children.
Step 4
Respect your child's privacy. Besides health care providers and law enforcement, do not tell anyone what happened without his permission. If he doesn't want you to tell his brothers and sisters, respect his wishes, unless they too are in danger, or you suspect they have been abused as well.
Step 5
Seek psychotherapy as soon as possible. The police, Child Protective Services or your pediatrician can assist you in finding a qualified counselor. Encourage your child to talk to the therapist even if she is embarrassed or reluctant. Explain to her how therapy helps children who have suffered abuse, and let her know that with help, abused children do recover and live normal lives.
Things You'll Need
- Emergency room or pediatrician
- Phone
- Car
