Children must be taught self-control and socially appropriate behavior. In some cases, behavior management is simply a response to normal child development obstacles. In other cases, a child or even an adult may be faced with developmental disabilities, such as autism, that require special care. In either case, you can use certain behavior management techniques to the advantage of yourself and your child.
Focus on Behavior
Children are much better able to control their own behavior than their attitudes or interpretations of events. In fact, many children find it impossible to change their attitudes and interpretations. For this reason, you should focus solely on behavior, advises the BBB Autism Online Support Network. Focus on modifying particular acts that you can see and hear.
Positivity
Positivity can help you modify your child's behavior in two ways. To communicate positively, face your child and make eye contact when speaking to her, advises the Family Education Network. Confine the topic to her undesirable behavior and do not use labels like "bad girl."
Positive reinforcement means offering rewards for desirable behavior and then following through. Set a time deadline--you could promise to take her to the mall if she cleans her room by noon, for example, says Jane Bluestein, CEO of Instructional Support Services, Inc. When praising your child, avoid making your love conditional on her performance. Instead, focus on what she has to gain by acting appropriately.
Discipline
Regardless of how positive you are, there will be times when you have to discipline your child. Bluestein suggests that parents withhold privileges or something else that the child wants as a first resort. You will need to set the rules in advance, make them clear, make sure your child understands the consequences of breaking them, and follow through with discipline strictly and without exception. If you fail to follow through even one time, your child will sense a chink in your armor and seek to exploit it. Make sure he knows that these consequences can be reversed if he changes his behavior in the future.
Handling Skills Deficits
In some cases, a child may be unable to modify her behavior because she simply doesn't know what to do. This is particularly likely if she seem to lack social skills. In such cases, you will need to teach her the necessary skills before you can expect her behavior to change, says Judith Osgood Smith, Professor Emerita of Education at Purdue University Calumet.
References
- Instructional Support Services, Inc: Behavior Management--Intervention Strategies
- BBB Autism Online Support Network: Behavior Management Strategies to Use Every Day
- Psychology Today: Time Out--Time and Child Behavior Management
- LD Online: Behavior Management--Getting to the Bottom of Social Skills Deficits
- Family Education: Using Positive Reinforcement
