Whether it takes place at a party, in a bar or just standing in line at your neighborhood grocery store, flirting is a playful first step to see if there's some potential chemistry with the guy who attracts your attention. Coupled with charm and confidence, it takes very little practice to send out subtle hints that you'd like to get to know him better. Chances are, he's sending out his own set of flirtatious signals and hoping you'll notice.
Step 1
Make eye contact. Your first glance may seem casually accidental on the surface but it's the second, longer one that communicates you really like what you see. If it's a crowded setting, let your gaze periodically wander the room to see where he is and what he's doing. If he catches you doing this, smile an amused confession that he caught you and go back to whatever you were doing. Wait a few minutes and repeat the process.
Step 2
Project a positive attitude. Authors Susan Rabin and Barbara Lagowski in "101 Ways to Flirt: How to Get More Dates and Meet Your Mate" explain that guys are always intrigued by women who appear happy, outgoing and engaged with what's going on around them versus those who look mopey, angry or desperate to have company. Smile, laugh and look enthusiastic about life. Guys will want to know what your secret is.
Step 3
Separate yourself from the herd. If it's a girls' night out with your best friends, that cute guy with whom you're trying to connect isn't going to stride over and infiltrate your gaggle. For one thing, it sends a confusing message of who he's really there to meet. Secondly, the risk of being rejected in front of others is too daunting for most men. Stand slightly apart from your friends, taking a trip to the buffet or go to the ladies room to provide a window of opportunity for him to catch you on the way back.
Step 4
Observe and mirror his body language. Rabin and Lagowski point out that people subconsciously feel more in sync with someone imitating their movements and gestures. If you're standing across the room from one another, this includes rubbing your arm, brushing your clothes, touching the back of your neck and putting a hand on your hip. If you're seated opposite your potential sweetheart, the mirroring includes hands, elbows and leaning forward and back during a conversation. Lightly touch his wrist when you laugh at something he's said. Accidentally brush against him as you walk past.
Step 5
Use your voice as a magnet for seduction. If you're doing the talking, periodically drop your voice to a husky whisper that requires your lad to move closer. Do more listening than talking. Ask open-ended questions to encourage the guy to talk about himself. Acknowledge his replies with smiles and short comments. At the end of the encounter, he's going to feel as if he's suddenly the most interesting person in the world. You, on the other hand, are still a delicious mystery that he'll want to decipher by asking you out.
Step 6
Compliment him on his appearance, his intelligence and the way he solves problems. Ask his advice or his opinion. If it's advice that you end up taking, remember to thank him later and let him know how it turned out. Expressing appreciation works wonders as a flirtation tool and continues to give the two of you an easy excuse to talk.
References
- "Flirting 101: How to Charm Your Way to Love, Friendship, and Success"; Michelle Lia Lewis, Andrew Bryant; 2004
- "101 Ways to Flirt: How to Get More Dates and Meet Your Mate"; Susan Rabin, Barbara Lagowski; 1997
- "The Body Language Handbook: How to Read Everyone's Hidden Thoughts and Intentions"; Gregory Hartley, Maryann Karinch; 2010
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