"No word is oftener on the lips of men than Friendship, and indeed no thought is more familiar to their aspirations," said celebrated 19th century American author and poet Henry David Thoreau. People need other people, and the importance of friendships to our happiness and well being cannot be denied. Making friends and getting people to like you can sometimes feel intimidating, though you can increase your success by employing a few techniques and working on your confidence.
Step 1
Believe in yourself. Have faith and confidence in yourself, and tell yourself that you're a friendly and likable person. "The key to finding happiness and satisfaction is have faith in yourself and your ability to get along with others," advises Harold H. Dawley, author of the book "Friendship: How to Make and Keep Friends." Faith and confidence in yourself is much more important than any specific techniques or strategies when it comes to making friends, says Dawley.
Step 2
Seek out opportunities to meet people, and have the courage to introduce yourself to strangers, suggests John M. Grohol, PsyD. Take a class, volunteer for a worthy cause, join a bowling league or go hang out at a local coffee shop. Get out in public as often as you can and talk to those around you.
Step 3
Practice relaxation exercises before engaging others to reduce social anxiety, suggests author Dawley. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and concentrate on relaxing specific parts of your body one at a time. Start at the top of your head and work your way down to your toes.
Step 4
Smile, and make eye contact when talking to people. Show interest by asking questions, and repeat a person's name from time to time when talking to help you remember it.
Step 5
Ask for people's opinions. Not only is this a good conversation starter, but asking a person for their opinion is complimentary because it shows that you value their viewpoint, says Don Gabor, author of the book "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends."
Step 6
Take an interest in activities and hobbies that those you know enjoy. Spend time with the friends you make doing things you enjoy. Let your friends introduce you to new things, such as food they like or places they enjoy going. Doing this projects openness, will will help create positive feelings toward you, says Gabor.
Tips and Warnings
- Practice talking to people, suggests Dawley, to get into the habit of being friendly. Make small talk with yourself in front of the mirror, or practice on relatives or friends.
- Don't come on too strong with those you've just met, warns Gabor. Take it slow and casual to make them comfortable, and try not to be pushy or aggressive.
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