The National Institutes of Health warns that more than 17 million adults in the United States have an alcohol problem. They face harmful physical effects, like brain and liver damage, and a higher risk of certain cancers. They are also more likely to die in car accidents or as homicide victims. Many of these people have significant others who feel the ripple effects of their drinking and struggle to cope with it.
Definition
The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism explains that alcohol abuse is defined by drinking in excess--to the point where it causes physical, social, work and family problems. It goes beyond physical and psychological alcohol dependence, because it has ripple effects on others, including the drinker's significant other.
Effects
Alcohol abuse by a significant other causes many martial problems, according to researchers at the University of Buffalo in New York. Their 2007 study found that alcohol abusers often have angry outbursts and say cruel things to their partners. They become annoyed when their significant others try to bring up the substance abuse problem. Their partners may become codependent, inadvertently supporting the negative behavior and protecting the drinker from its effects. The study also showed that wives of alcohol abusers are more likely to suffer from depression. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism warns that drinkers may physically abuse their partners when drunk.
Actions
Significant others often try to help their alcoholic partners. They clean up messes, make up excuses when their significant others miss work, and even provide bail after arrests for alcohol-related offenses. Help Guide, a self-help information site, advises letting drinkers suffer the consequences of their behavior. It recommends that significant others do not try to guilt alcoholics into getting sober, get rid of their liquor or constantly nag them. These tactics do not work and often lead to anger and frustration for both partners.
Considerations
Help Guide warns that no one can force a significant other to confront a drinking problem or to get help. Alcohol abusers often get defensive when confronted or make promises that are soon broken. It's best not to argue with a drinker, especially when the person is intoxicated. Do not expect a partner to stop drinking unless the promise is accompanied by action, like entering a detoxification program, attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings or going to a counselor. Focus on self-care and self-protection rather than making futile attempts at forcing the person to get sober.
Support
Partners of alcohol abusers need support, Help Guide advises. Al-Anon is a free group, based on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and targets family members of alcohol abusers. It gives them support from other people in similar situations, raises their awareness of co-dependent behaviors and helps them cope with the alcohol abuser in healthy ways. Many significant others who are dealing with spousal alcohol abuse also benefit from counseling. It can be embarrassing to talk about personal problems with family members and friends, but a therapist provides an objective ear and viewpoint.
