Bereavement in children is often ignored or dismissed as if it didn't exist, according to the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. Parents often try to keep the truth away from children as well, thinking kids won't be able to deal with the idea of death. The truth is that children don't need to be sheltered from the truth. When a beloved pet dies, they do need support and guidance to understand what happened and to heal from the pain of losing a loving companion.
Step 1
Choose your words based on the age of your child. Children under the age of 6 have basic to no understanding of the concept of death, according to the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. At this age, they need to hear that they didn't do anything that caused their pets to "disappear" or they might blame themselves for the loss. Some children will experience changes in behavior as a result and might feel angry toward their pet for "leaving them." Offer words of reassurance and have talks about their feelings as often as necessary.
Step 2
Be more direct with children over the age of 7. At this age, children understand the permanence of death. If they are curious and ask question about death, answer them as honestly as possible. The loss of their pet may bring worry about parents and other loved ones dying, so it's important to discuss these issues with them. Don't dismiss their grief easily, and look out for signs of depression or acting up as a reaction to the loss.
Step 3
Take the time to say goodbye. If you're cremating the animal, choose a service that allows you to say goodbye and then place the urn with the ashes in a prominent place in the home, such as a bookcase or the fireplace mantel. If you've decided to bury your pet, wrap it in a blanket or a piece of clothing and then place it in a box or homemade casket. Saying goodbye with dignity will help put your kid's mind at ease.
Step 4
Have a memorial service in the name of the pet. Allow your child to write a poem or say some words to honor their lost friend. Light some candles and then gather together as a family to remember your friend. You can also encourage your child to create a scrapbook of your pet using photos, drawings and special items such as a dog tag.
Step 5
Be honest about your own grief. Let the child know that it's OK to be sad and miss the departed pet. According to Clinical Psychology Associates, showing your own sadness will make kids feel less alone and help them understand that grieving is acceptable and part of the process of healing.
