Most children have temper tantrums at some stage in their childhood, and like adults, they sometimes need to vent their anger. Although some kids have a tendency to be more high-strung than others, generally, even an unruly child's behavior is controllable. According to Dr. Leon Seltzer, a clinical psychologist, explains that impulsive and irrational behaviors come naturally to young children, who give little thought to the consequences of their actions. Even for children who demonstrate a persistent pattern of misbehavior or impulsivity, parents can take steps to encourage acceptable standards of conduct.
Step 1
Explain to your child what kinds of behavior you expect, but have realistic expectations for the behavior on which you insist. Offer your child a practical reward when she behaves in a store, while visiting family or friends, or while just out and about.
Step 2
Tell your child what the particular consequences will be for negative behaviors. Make the boundaries for behavior clear. Your child needs to understand that consequences are tied to his actions. Warn him only once when he misbehaves. If he continues to misbehave, follow through with the consequence you described earlier.
Step 3
Remain calm while your child is having a temper tantrum or acting out. Allowing your child to see that you are losing control can make an already unpleasant situation worse. Because your child will eventually calm down, your job in the meantime is to keep her from hurting herself or others or otherwise being generally destructive.
Step 4
Take several deep breaths and tell yourself that you are in control, even if your child obviously is not. Dr. William Sears, a medical and parenting consultant for "Parenting" and Babytalk" magazines advises parents not to let the little things get them down. Save your emotional responses for more serious situations. Examine your own behavior patterns, then model appropriate behavior to your child. Show him that individuals can stay calm even when they are upset.
Step 5
Persist in dealing with an unruly child. Remind yourself that you are not going to change your child's behavior in a single day. Be consistent in your discipline and avoid getting into a power struggle. Syndicated TV talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw warns not to let your child wear you down to the point where you let her have her way. One of the worst things you can do is to allow your child to intimidate you.
Step 6
Redirect your child's attention. It helps to keep a child busy. If a child is occupied with doing an activity he likes, he may be less likely to misbehave.
Step 7
Schedule an appointment with your child's pediatrician if her misbehavior continues or becomes worse, as there could be an underlying medical cause. Your pediatrician may also refer your child for a psychological evaluation.
