Many people's lives are put together like a jigsaw puzzle, with most of the pieces put into place by accidents of circumstance or irrational responses to obstacles. In order to start living on purpose rather than accidentally, you will need to create a blueprint for your life before you build a new structure. Your blueprint should take into account your genuine desires as well as both avoidable and unavoidable limitations.
Vision
Start your life blueprint with a compelling vision of yourself, advises psychologist Judith Sills, author of "The Comfort Trap." Do some soul-searching and zero in on your discontent with the intent of finding its source. You should also tune into your dreams. If you don't have any, keep track of your thoughts and emotions and note any flickers of interest or passion that you experience. Use these to work out a new, ideal identity for yourself. This ideal identity can help you to base your goals on who you want to become, rather than what you would like to have. Identity-based goals are more controllable than goals that depend solely on changing the outside world---yet, ironically, they can lead to changes in your circumstances.
Thinking Big
Spend time brainstorming in order to paint the broad strokes of an ideal new life, advises Mindtools. At this stage, don't edit your ideas for realism. Decide on general goals covering every major area of your life---set career, family, education, wealth, physical fitness, contribution and even pleasure goals. Start with your ideal identity and identify goals that will take you from who you are now to who you would like to be.
Risk Adversity
You will need to revise your goals to reflect practical considerations. Consider your brain's natural limitations, suggests Dr. David Rock, founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute. The human brain is instinctively geared toward survival, and as a consequence is unrealistically averse to risk-taking and uncertainty. This was designed to help you survive in a Stone-Age environment, not find personal fulfillment in an industrial society. Take an argumentative attitude toward eliminating any goals because of a gut feeling that they are too risky.
Goal Formulation
Once you have pared down your goals by eliminating unrealistic options, you should create formal written goal statements. Edwin A. Locke, former Professor of the University of Maryland School of Business, has developed a system of goal formulation designed to maximize motivation. Goal statements should be as specific and measurable as you can make them. Avoid easy goals, because challenge is motivating. Break down goals into small steps, and define these steps in terms of specific and measurable benchmarks whenever possible. Keep track of your progress.
Obstacles
Identify in advance as many obstacles that you may face as you can and write them down. The first obstacle you may face is getting started. You will also face obstacles along the way, such as the temptation to overeat. Robert Leahy, psychologist and author of "The Worry Cure" suggests building in a system of rewards for good behavior. These rewards may be tangible, as long as they don't undercut your goal---a piece of chocolate cake is a bad reward for sticking to your diet, for example. They may also be intangible: mentally pat yourself on the back when you feel nicotine cravings and resist them, for example. Cultivate the habit of looking at the inevitable pain that accompanies real change as evidence of success, the way muscle soreness is evidence of a good workout.
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