It is important for women to effectively deal with their anger. People without effective coping mechanisms for anger often suffer from headaches, difficulty sleeping, problems with their digestion and high blood pressure. There is even evidence that having unresolved anger can increase the risk of a heart attack. Women often have a great deal of everyday stress that they have to deal with, and making an effective transition between work, home, child rearing and being a wife is very difficult. Fortunately, there are anger management techniques that are effective and easy.
Chill Out
Anger often escalates because both parties continue to try to persuade the other they are right. If you feel yourself losing control, take a time out. Walk away from the situation. In fact, keep walking. Exercise is an effective way to release anger, and a brisk walk can provide you with some much-needed distance from the situation. If you cannot exercise, go into another room, shut the door and do some relaxation exercises. These can be anything from yoga poses to simply closing your eyes and taking deep breaths.
Let it Out
After you have cooled off, express your anger. The purpose of anger management is not to leave you with the capability of suppressing all of your anger; rather, you want to deal with it effectively. Take your time and think about what you want to say. Speak in a calm tone and use "I" statements, which tell the other person exactly how you feel and are less inflammatory than making pointed attacks at them. For example, rather than saying, "You never take the garbage out because you don't appreciate anything that I do," say, "When I am responsible for taking out the trash every week, I feel unappreciated."
Identify Your Goal
When discussing a disagreement, it is important to have an end goal in mind. Without it, it is easy to discuss a problem to death without coming to any resolution. What would make you happy? It is important to compromise, but both of you should have the discussion with the goal of a resolution, not a truce. Otherwise, the same problem will inevitably crop up again.
Don't Hold a Grudge
We cannot avoid confrontation our whole lives, but once the moment passes, let it go. Holding onto anger only hurts you.
Consider Counseling
If you still have trouble controlling your anger, consider visiting a counselor (see Resources below). These professionals can help you refine your anger management techniques as well as provide a safe area to express your emotions. This is important especially for women, who often don't have a safe place to "let it all out."
