Finding a loyal friend who will stick around for the good and bad times is no easy task. According to the National Mental Health Information Center, friendships deepen over time. As time passes, it's important that you test the waters and pay attention to how you feel when you're around the other person. The NMHIC points out that you'll know that a friendship is deepening because you'll feel more and more comfortable with the other person. Loyalty, as other qualities of a deep friendship, must be built over time.
Finding a Friend
Finding friends you have something in common with can help you form lasting bonds. To meet people, put yourself in group situations. Take a class, join an organized hike or attend a book club. According to the spirituality site Beliefnet.com, even conferences are good places to meet people. This is especially true if you attend the same conference every year or if you attend several conferences on the same topic, whether that's Star Trek or writing and publishing. You can also try volunteering. Charity work is, by definition, very social, since you'll be working with other volunteers and possibly interacting with the people you're helping. Since your focus will be on the work itself, chats that arise are likely to be relaxed. If you volunteer regularly, you're likely to run into the same people. Use those opportunities to ask questions and share things about yourself. Even a little bit at a time can develop a friendship.
Growing the Friendship
Loyalty is acquired over time. According to HealthGuidance.org, you should look for certain reactions and attitudes in the people you surround yourself with. For example, ask your friends to always be honest with you. A loyal friend will not support you if you're wrong and will provide constructive criticism when appropriate. Test the loyalty of friends by asking honest questions that you know will be difficult to answer. Even if you don't like the answer, you can judge whether the honesty is present or not. When you're in a difficult situation, ask for advice. A loyal friend will be there to support you impartially, without taking sides and without patting you on the back when he truly believes you're wrong. Loyalty works both ways. If you're looking for a loyal friend, make sure you're acting as one. Any characteristics you're looking for in a loyal friend should also be a part of you. Don't make promises you can't fulfill. Don't disappear for long periods at a time, especially if your friend is going through a difficult time or needs support.
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