Toilet training a toddler can be a lengthy process that requires patience from parents. No matter how frustrated you get, you should never force your child to use the toilet, because your child will lose motivation and the entire training process will be difficult for you both.
Time Frame
Like all milestones, toilet training is a skill your toddler needs when he's ready. According to "The Parenting Bible," children have a built-in drive to grow, develop and please their parents, so letting the process naturally occur will be best for everyone. Problems can arise if toilet training is initiated too early. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children around 12 months are still mastering walking, so it's not until 18 to 24 months when most toddlers become interested in learning a new skill. At 18 months, your toddler may be interested in the toilet, but he does not have enough bladder and bowel control until between 2 to 3 years old, according to "The Parenting Bible."
Readiness Signs
According to "What to Expect the Toddler Years," in order to be successfully toilet trained, your toddler needs to be aware of elimination before, during and after it occurs. If your toddler does not understand the feelings of having to eliminate urine or feces, then he is not going to go to the toilet. If your toddler regularly has urine or feces in his diaper instead of being dry for two hours or more at a time, he is probably not ready. In addition, it's important that your toddler can dress and undress himself, as well as follow and understand directions, according to "What to Expect the Toddler Years." While giving directions or discussing the elimination, always use the same words, such as "poop" or "pee."
Refusal
According to "The Parenting Bible," too much attention on toilet training can cause a child to refuse to use a toilet. This can happen when your toddler is afraid that she will fail during the toilet training process. This often occurs when parents have become angry at accidents or impatient while waiting for toddlers while they are sitting on the toilet.
On the other hand, a child could refuse because she has been excessively praised. Notice how sometimes your toddler thinks it's funny to do the opposite of what you say? This is what can happen during over-praising, turning the process into a power struggle. If your child refuses to use the toilet, do not push the issue or show you are upset with your child. He may want to stay in his diaper or he may be scared by the large adult toilet.
Encouragement
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, you should avoid making faces or saying negative things while changing your toddler's diaper. Instead, talk to your toddler about how good it feels to be clean and dry.
Accidents are bound to happen during toilet training, if you get upset when your toddler has an accident, he may feel so ashamed that he will not want to remove his diaper. Instead, clean the accident and say things such as, "It's okay, it's just an accident." According to "The Parenting Bible," many children will continue having accidents past 4 years old because they were busy playing.
Suggestions
Starting your toddler on a potty-training chair may be the best option before he transitions to the grown-up toilet. According to Babycenter, allowing your toddler to personalize and decorate his potty chair may help motivate him to use it. If you become familiar with the times your toddler eliminates, you can allow him to run around without pants or a diaper during this time. This will skip the entire undressing process and may make it easier for him. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests placing reading materials, crayons or toys around the designated potty area so your toddler has something to do while waiting to eliminate.
References
- Babycenter: Potty training problems and solutions
- "The Parenting Bible"; Robin Goldstein, Ph.D. & Janet Gallant; 2002
- "What to Expect the Toddler Years"; Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway; 2008
- American Academy of Pediatrics: Psychological Readiness and Motor Skills Needed for Toilet Training
