If you despise cigarettes and your partner smokes, you probably wish you knew just the right words to express your feelings and encourage him to quit. If he takes your comments about smoking the wrong way, he is likely to become angry and defensive. When you choose your words carefully, and show you will support him if he chooses to quit, his chances of being able to give up the habit improve. According to the Quit Tobacco campaign, those who have a support network to provide encouragement while they quit smoking are as much as 10 times more likely to stop than those to try to quit alone.
Step 1
Choose the time to express your feelings wisely. Announcing to your partner how much you hate smoking can backfire if she perceives your comments as nagging or criticizing. The best time to share your feelings is when your partner admits her disdain for smoking by saying things like she wishes she could quit or complaining about how much money she spends on her habit. Take the opportunity to gently agree and engage her in a discussion about quitting.
Step 2
Look for signs that your anti-smoking comments are helpful. Target your complaints against smoking, not the smoker. Focus on the positive, and remind your partner how he will feel better, be healthier and save money. Let him know how much you and other family members love him and want him to live a long, happy life.
Step 3
Offer positive reinforcement during times your partner is not smoking. Let her know how much you enjoy kissing her when she has fresh, smoke-free breath. Try to find new activities in which the two of you can partake where smoking is not acceptable, such as biking or a cooking class.
Step 4
Share one of your habits or traits that you would like to change. Take some of the pressure of your partner by letting him know you are willing to give up a bad habit. Telling him that you are going to start eating healthy or begin an exercise program may inspire him to make positive changes, as well.
Step 5
Tell your partner you will provide support and encouragement when she is ready to quit smoking. Most people need some time to mentally prepare and make the decision to stop. Remember, it is her decision, and you cannot force her to quit before she is ready.
