Moving into assisted living is a highly emotional step for most seniors. Many perceive it as a failure and the first step toward irreversible decline. The reality, however, is that without the hassles of maintaining a home, your dad can experience new freedom, and the opportunity to enjoy a variety of activities with new friends in his age group. You can ease your father's emotional trauma and smooth his transition by listening and acknowledging his concerns and involving him in choosing his new home.
Choosing the Right Place
Step 1
Talk to your father about the move, and listen to his concerns and his hopes. Find out what features are important to him in an assisted living facility. Ask him what kind of help he thinks would make his daily living easier.
Step 2
Review your father's finances with him so that you both understand what he can afford. Some facilities require documentation of income and assets, so keep this information in case you need it for the application process.
Step 3
Ask your dad's doctor for a recommendation regarding what kind of facility would best meet your father's medical needs.
Step 4
Take your father to visit several facilities so he can choose the one he likes best. Try to arrange to have lunch or participate in an activity during the visit so that your father can interact with a few of the residents rather that just viewing the accommodations.
The Move and Beyond
Step 1
Help your dad choose what to take with him. Even though his new space will be smaller, let him bring things that are emotionally important, like photographs and favorite pieces of furniture. This will help to ease the transition, and he can choose to discard some items after the move if space is an issue.
Step 2
Try to make the new place familiar by arranging furniture and other items in patterns identical or similar to their placement in his previous home.
Step 3
Visit at least a few times a week in the early stages of your father's transition to assisted living. Ask your father how he's doing with the transition, and encourage him to talk about people he has met and activities he has tried.
Step 4
Cut back the frequency of your visits gradually so that your father can focus more on his new life and the friends he's making. Make sure, however, that he has the ability and feels welcome to contact you if he's lonely or needs something between visits.
Tips and Warnings
- If possible, delay the sale of your father's home or apartment until after his move, because it may be upsetting to him to see prospective buyers walking through his home during this emotionally difficult time. If finances are an issue, you may be able to arrange for a bridge loan to cover the cost of the down payment on the assisted living apartment until he can sell his previous home. Consider having a farewell party so that your father can celebrate the move and visit with neighbors before leaving his current home. (See Reference 1)
