In her book "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" Vicki Iovine describes pregnancy as "an alarming, charming, sloppy and sentimental affair." Pregnant woman can experience wide ranges of emotion, moving from quick anger to happy tears to delight all in a couple hours. If your spouse is expecting, you can help her by being supportive, attentive and understanding.
Mental Changes
The first thing to expect from a pregnant wife is a whole lot of extra emotions. While her body is busy creating a tiny life inside her, women often feel "instability comparable to premenstrual syndrome, which may include irritability, mood swings, irrationality and weepiness" according to "What to Expect When You're Expecting." Generally the more PMS affects a woman, the more pregnancy will too. Not only are her emotions on a roller coaster, but her body is quickly enlarging in all sorts of places and her confidence can either increase with the joy of pregnancy or decrease as she feels fat.
Physical Changes
During the nine months of pregnancy, your wife's uterus will increase to five times its normal size, and she will experience many other physical changes. Most first-time moms begin to show around four to five months, but before then she will gain weight all over to help her body design her tiny child. According to Discovery Health, she has a 20 percent to 40 percent increase in blood supply volume. Her changing metabolism can cause her to crave certain foods and need more calories.
Sex Life Changes
Many spouses enjoy the fact that increased blood flow often causes women to want sex more, and her breasts will slowly enlarge to almost gigantic by the time her milk comes in after delivery. Sex is a tricky thing during pregnancy, though. Your wife might crave sex more at certain times and then lose interest due to hormonal changes and an overwhelming tiredness. Increase your physical and emotional affection to help her feel extra connected and appreciated at such a demanding time in her life. The more helpful and loving you are, the more intimate she will feel.
Abandonment
Trying to support a pregnant woman can sometimes feel very isolating; all the attention is on her, and you might feel constantly expected to cater to her every need. While it is extremely important for the health of your relationship to support her, it is also important for her to recognize your needs. If you begin to feel abandoned by her, remember she is going through a major change and her maternal instincts are beginning to form. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't speak up. She might be so focused on herself and her pregnancy that she truly doesn't mean to be less attentive. Communicate your needs to her.
Anxiety of Childbirth
The anticipation of childbirth starts almost as soon as she is pregnant. Your wife might be simultaneously fearful and excited about childbirth. It's important to listen to her emotions and be as empathetic as possible. Assure her that you'll be right there with her. Offer to take her to the bookstore for childbirth books and be open to her request for childbirth classes. Author Pam England says "The profound mystery and spirituality of birth can never be understood with the mind; they are known through the heart." Be excited to be on this journey with your wife.
References
- "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy"; Vicki Iovine; Pocket Books; 1995
- "What to Expect When You're Expecting"; Heidi Murkoff; Workman Publishing; 2002
- Discovery Health; Understanding Pregnancy Symptoms
- "Birthing From Within"; Pam England; Partera Press; 1998
