How To Stop Jealousy In A Relationship

Jealousy often develops in relationships over time. Some people assume that jealousy is a natural element of any relationship. However, jealousy is actually not a necessary part of every relationship, and ignoring these jealous feelings can strain the relationship, according to the book "New Ways of Loving" by James Park. If you address the root causes, you can remove jealous inklings from a relationship, helping strengthen the relationship in the process.

Step 1

Acknowledge any feelings of jealousy, as recommended by Bucks County Community College (BCCC) Counseling Department. Admit you are jealous, or confront your partner about his jealousy in the relationship. Jealousy is a learned trait, according to "New Ways of Loving," and can be replaced with positive emotional reactions but only if you make a conscious effort to address jealous feelings.

Step 2

Evaluate any recent changes in your life or in the relationship. Once you've admitted the problem, you need to find the cause. Jealousy stems from feelings of inadequacy, according to the BCCC Counseling Department. Increased jealousy could result from a change in the relationship dynamics. Recent negative changes can make the relationship appear inadequate compared with other relationships with friends or exes, leading to jealousy and fear of a possible breakup.

Step 3

Write your jealous thoughts on a piece of paper, as recommended by the BCCC Counseling Department. This will help you further identify other sources of jealous feelings, and it helps you vent these frustrations without starting an argument.

Step 4

Discuss any reasonable causes for jealousy with your partner. Feelings of inadequacy and associated jealousy can be warranted if the relationship is realistically in trouble. Feeling insecure and jealous of your partner's friends or exes can sometimes be the result of discernible problems with your relationship. You must address these issues so you can repair any damage to the relationship while also eliminating jealous feelings. However, remember that jealousy is often not warranted and may stem from personal insecurities rather than real problems with the relationship.

Step 5

Visit a counselor or therapist to talk about jealousy issues, especially if you have little success identifying and fixing catalysts for jealousy within the relationship. Couples therapy can be helpful, but individual sessions are also a good idea. According to "New Ways of Loving," poor self-esteem leads to the feelings of inadequacy and associated jealousy. Individual therapy can help a jealous person address self-esteem issues. A person with low self-esteem typically gets jealous of others because he is feeling inferior. An improvement in self-esteem often goes hand in hand with diminished jealousy.

Step 6

Talk with a psychiatrist if advised by your therapist. If you continue to feel inadequate even after undergoing talk therapy, medication may be advised to help with your self-esteem. Antidepressant medication can help a person feel better about herself, removing unwarranted jealous feelings in the process.