As a parent, your own attitudes and conceptions about sex will be passed down to your children. If you treat sex as a taboo and uncomfortable subject, they may believe that sex is taboo and uncomfortable and avoid coming to you with questions and concerns. By fostering an open attitude about sex, you avoid taking an all-or-nothing approach which can freak kids out. Instead, make learning and talking about sex an ongoing process in your home so the conversation is always open, and your kids are willing to listen without feeling embarrassed.
Step 1
Talk to your kids about sex in a casual environment. Making a big deal about "the talk" or asking your kids to come sit down with you can make them feel awkward and formal about your conversation. Instead, wait for a more casual teaching moment in the car or in front of the television. It seems less planned that way and you may find you enjoy a more casual and honest conversation because of when and where you broach the subject.
Step 2
Structure your conversation around the age of your child. A preschooler only needs to know the anatomically correct names for her body, while a 12 year old will need a more in-depth conversation on sex, notes Parenting magazine. Don't give your child more information than she can understand, which could scare and confuse her.
Step 3
Encourage your child to ask questions about sex and promise that you'll keep a level head, suggests the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Being open about sex means that your kids feel comfortable in coming to talk to you about sex. Remember that if they have questions, it's better that they ask you than learn from one of their friends.
Step 4
Spread your talk about sex across several different conversations with your kids. There shouldn't be one "birds-and-the-bees" talk that is given at a certain age, notes KidsHealth, a division of the Nemours Foundation. Instead, foster an environment where sex is an ongoing conversation, starting at a young age and continuing into the teenage years. This makes talking about sex less of a shock to your kids.
Step 5
Keep a sense of humor as you talk to your kids about sex. Being overly serious can scare them and make them feel uneasy. Instead, an acknowledgment of the awkward situation and a lot of laughter can diffuse an otherwise explosive conversation.
