Hearing bad language come from your child may shock and upset you. Misbehavior such as bad language in children can be an imitative behavior, an attention-getting behavior or a reaction to an upsetting situation, says the Cooperative Extension Service of Oklahoma State University. If your child uses inappropriate language, develop some techniques to correct your child and stop the behavior.
Respond Appropriately
When your child uses bad language, analyze where he heard the word. If you occasionally use bad language, avoid using those words, recommends the Children, Youth and Women's Health Service. Tell your child bad language is not acceptable in your family and you do not want him saying it again. If he says it again, remind him of the house rules. Occasionally, your child may use bad language to shock you, and he is looking for a response. Remain calm and try to discern if he is using the word out of a strong emotion such as anger. If so, acknowledge his frustration and give him appropriate ways to express his feelings.
Establish Code of Conduct
Children need to understand when they use bad language or call other children inappropriate names, they are not showing respect to other people. Teach your child that when she uses bad language, it may make other people assume she is uneducated and does not have control over her feelings, recommends Timothy Jay, Ph.D. Establish a code of conduct for your child. Sit down together and make a list of acceptable and unacceptable language. Stress to your child that using bad language is not a sign of intelligence, but rather can get her point across more effectively by using appropriate language and not belittling another person.
Swear Jar
Giving your child a monetary consequence for using bad language can help reduce the number of times your child curses. Get a large jar and label it "swear jar." Sit down as a family and agree you will all work together to eliminate bad language from your home. Every time a person says a swear word, they donate money to the jar. Keep the amount low, but high enough to make an impact. Brigham Young University suggests parents put a dollar in a "non-swear jar" for each day the swear jar is empty. Donate the swear jar money to a charity and use the money from the non-swear jar to go out together.
Reward System
According to Purdue University's Parent-Provider Partnership, parents are sometimes reluctant to use rewards with children. The partnership recommends using rewards that are not necessarily material in nature. Instead of a present, reward your child for reacting to anger without using bad language by giving him a hug or spending some quality time with him. Look for opportunities to praise your child in front of other people. Use a sticker chart and give him a gold star for every day he does not use bad language. At the end of each week, rent a movie of his choice and watch it together.
References
- Oklahoma State University: Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service: Why Children Misbehave
- Children, Youth and Women's Health Service: Swearing
- Earlychildhood NEWS: When Young Children Use Profanity: How to Handle Cursing and Name Calling
- Brigham Young University: Swearing and Bad Language
- Purdue University: Provider-Parent Partnerships: Making Discipline Positive
