For children, self esteem is a complex combination of pride in their accomplishments and feelings that they're loved and appreciated by the people around them, according to KidsHealth, an online health and parenting resource maintained by the Nemours Foundation. Though your child's self esteem will probably ebb and flow somewhat as he gets older, you can do a lot to help him develop positive feelings and beliefs about himself that add up to good self esteem.
Step 1
Show your child that you're interested in the things that interest her, says Mary Jo Rapini, psychotherapist and co-author of the book "Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You & Your Mom," on the Education website. Read your child's favorite books with her, ask her to explain her favorite video game to you or just listen to what she has to say, and you'll help her build the belief that her opinions are valuable.
Step 2
Pay attention to the ways you talk about yourself, and avoid using phrases like "I'm so stupid" or "I look so fat in this," recommends the New York University Child Study Center. Children will unconsciously mimic your self-talk and may end up being negative about themselves because of it.
Step 3
Help your child set goals and celebrate his success, recommends Martin Ford, professor of education at George Mason University and author of "Motivating Humans: Goals, Emotions and Personal Agency Beliefs" in "Parenting" magazine. Break big goals into a series of smaller goals so that your child can see his progress.
Step 4
Give your child lots of hugs and express your love for her frequently. Feeling loved is an important part of developing self esteem, according to the KidsHealth website.
Step 5
Teach your child to deal with failure by letting her mess up and reap the consequences sometimes. If your child fails a test, talk to her about how she could handle the situation so it doesn't happen again, such as studying more or asking for help with homework. Being able to cope with failure is an important part of developing self esteem.
Step 6
Use clear, accurate praise, and don't go overboard. For instance, if your child doesn't win a race at field day, tell him you're proud of his efforts instead of reassuring him that he'll win next year.
Step 7
Teach your child to break negative thought patterns by being specific. For instance, if your child says "I'm terrible at math," say something like, "Well, you did fine with addition. Subtraction is a little harder, so you might need to work at it more to get better at it."
