As you add another year to your age, don't forget that your mother is aging, too. Now that she may not be able to take care of herself, it's up to you to make sure she has the type of care she needs. Mental Health America says 22 million people in the U.S. are taking care of aging parents or other older relatives.
Communication
Keep an open line of communication with your mother and other family members, recommends the Family Education website. As you notice your mother's lack of ability to care for herself, discuss options with her and your siblings. You'll need to make some decisions, but you may not be able to do everything yourself. The family education website suggests asking for help from siblings, other family members, friends and public agencies.
Assess the Needs
Assess your mother's needs. She may need help with bathing and getting dressed. If your mother is still living in her home, make sure she has help with housekeeping, yard work and meal preparation. She needs transportation to shop for food, visit her doctor and run errands if she can't drive. Consider her ability to make decisions, and set up a method to help her when she needs you. This may involve getting power of attorney and getting permission to make financial decisions. Occasionally go with her on doctor visits to make sure you have the information you need to make the best decisions for your mother.
Preparation
Whether your elderly mother remains in her home or moves in with you, you may need to make her living space more user-friendly, according to U.S. News and World Report. Make sure there is a clear path to her bed, and if she uses mobility devices, she should have adequate space in doorways and halls. Install a shower seat, rails in the bathtub and shower, a toilet extension and monitors. If you need home health care, compare agencies to find the best for your mother.
If your mother needs an assisted living facility or nursing home, you will interview caregivers, inspect facilities and gather references. Discuss your mother's condition with the facility's social worker, dietary manager and nurse. Be sure the facility welcomes family visits for your mother.
Lifestyle
Help your mother maintain as much dignity as possible as she ages. Find ways to enable her to have a normal life. If she's always been a gardener, make adjustments or provide containers for her to grow flowers and vegetables in a smaller space. Provide large-print reading materials and books on CD so she can enjoy her passion for reading. Enlist the aid of professionals to find ways for her to do many of the things she used to enjoy. Include your mother in special events and holiday celebrations.
Essential Information
Maintain an updated list of essential information for your mother. You'll need her Social Security number, driver's license number, other IDs, insurance, Medicare number and other medical details in an easily accessible location. Have a list of doctor, lawyer and accountant names, phone numbers and addresses. Update her medical information frequently--don't forget to add her medications, allergies and medical procedures. You'll need her birth certificate, property documents, title to her automobile, copies of her will and signed power of attorney. If she has any specific wishes such as burial requests or organ donation desires, have those documents in a safe place. Get a list of your mother's friends and church members so they can be notified of any changes.
Your Needs
Take care of your own needs and the needs of your family, advises AARP. Allow others to pitch in so you can take breaks. Look into senior day care where, your mother can enjoy activities and socialize with others her age while you have time for yourself. Take time to relax and enjoy your favorite pastimes. Don't neglect your spiritual life if that's important to you. If there's anything you are unable do, learn to say no without feeling guilty.
