Alcoholics often know they have a problem but rarely admit it. Denial allows the alcoholic to keep on drinking despite all the unwanted effects. Even if he admits the problem to himself, it is very difficult to stop drinking. Easy availability of alcohol undermines the alcoholic's willpower. Friends and family can do a lot to help the alcoholic overcome his addiction.
Step 1
Address the problem. As uncomfortable as it may be to bring up the subject, colluding with denial does not help. Try to be supportive and nonaccusatory. Your friend may or may not agree with you. She might get angry. She might tell you she wants you out of her house. Depending on the closeness of your relationship, decide how often and under which circumstances to pursue this. Stress that you want to help her get better.
Step 2
Get him to detox. Once your friend agrees that he needs help, the preferred place for initial treatment is a detox unit in a general hospital. Quitting alcohol after heavy and prolonged use can lead to serious medical problems. It's best to do so under medical supervision. Research the options with him, help him pack a bag and drive him there. Sit with him till he can be seen, and assure him that you'll be there when he leaves. While he's in detox, get his apartment tidy if possible. Get rid of any alcohol, buy some food and cook a bit, so he'll have something to eat when he gets out. Buy a fresh bouquet of flowers for his homecoming. Get him a DVD to watch on his first night out. Give him a pleasant fresh start.
Step 3
Help her rearrange her life. She may have lost her job because of her drinking. She may have lost her marriage. Support her and encourage her. If she needs a place to stay, offer her your place if possible, or encourage her to stay at a longer-term residential rehab after detox. If she's going back home, keep her active and busy. Push her to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. She needs to acquire new habits during the first period of sobriety and find replacements for alcohol. Take the opportunity to enroll in a class together. Go for walks. Start an exercise program together. Help her to find joy in life as it is, without the escapism that alcohol used to provide her.
Tips and Warnings
- When you have dinners or get-togethers at your house, leave out the alcohol. Find support for yourself--the helper needs help too.
- Relapse is common. Don't get too frustrated if this happens despite all your efforts.
References
- National Institue on Aging: Older Adults and Alcohol--for Family, Friends and caregivers
- "Kaplan and Sadock's Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry"; Virginia Sadock and Pedro Ruiz; 2009
