There are many approaches to marriage and family counseling today that differ in their approach and suitability. Most techniques, although they take a specific focus, such as communication or building a better relationship with oneself, borrow some of their approaches from others. Most marriage therapists use more than one technique in their practice for successful results. Marriage and family counseling is therapy for partners and normally the nuclear family to support change and development in improving relationships between spouses and/or family members. The family therapist can be a trained counselor, often trained in psychology or psychiatry, a clergy member, or, increasingly, a marriage or family coach. The American Association for Family Therapy--AAMFT--advises counseling also serves to support disease prevention and other illnesses related to stress within families.
The Psychotherapy Approach
Psychotherapy, a clinical and older approach, locates problems within a marriage or family within the history and underlying motivations. As Brant Cortwright, author of "How Therapy Works," cautions, although a person may be outwardly successful, inwardly there are often struggles that must be uncovered. The therapist applies the principles of psychoanalysis in the one-on-one treatment. Focus is on self-expression and trust. Newer developments include directing the client to develop a relationship with herself first.
Communication Techniques Approach
This approach is one of the more popular today and is derived from the more general behavior-oriented therapy, which sees marital and family conflict arising from the inability to problem-solve and find appropriate channels of resolving conflicts. Exchanging information involves teaching clients problem-solving and conflict-resolution skills through helping them carefully choose words. Author Diane Sollee advises in "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage," that marriage does not work on love only and requires skills to succeed, primarily skillful means of communication.
Systems Approach
The systems approach takes an abstract view of the familial system in which each person forms a set of independent and interacting parts. It stresses the interaction between partners as the origin of marital difficulties. Incorporating behavior and communication approaches, it analyzes communication and behavioral patterns as well as the interdependent roles played by the couple or members of the family. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health--CAMH--stresses its usefulness since problems develop according to cyclical and relational patterns, which cannot be understood by studying past experiences alone.
Heart Centered Approach
Among others, this approach derives from psychotherapy. Advocates, such as marriage counselor Mort Fertel or popular psychologist Dr. Phil, illustrate the failure of therapies that focus on the problems at the expense of nurturing healthy habits of expressing love. They also warn that focusing on fixing the problem that is seemingly the cause of discord takes away from the real issue at the heart of the problem, being the need to fix oneself rather than blaming others.
References
- American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy: Marriage Therapy
- Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH): Marriage Resources
- Brant Cortright: "How Therapy Works," An Integral Approach to Psychotherapy
- "Marriage Fitness: 4 Steps to Building and Maintaining Phenomenal Love"; Mort Fertel; 2004.
